


silver heaven between dream and day

by wrennette



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Artoo (dog), Cunnilingus, Dreaming of Past Lives, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Only tagging main cast, Reconciliation Sex, Reincarnation, Smut, Soulmates, Tags to be added, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-14 12:14:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13589847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrennette/pseuds/wrennette
Summary: Ben Kenobi isn't entirely certain about dating Satine Kryze. Even if she is the woman of his dreams. And he sees her everywhere he goes. And she's the incarnation of his ideal woman.





	1. that was in dream

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gabriel4Sam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabriel4Sam/gifts).



> That Obitine Moulin Rouge Modern AU reincarnation fic I wasn’t going to write…… and then totally did. It came out very different than originally conceptualized, but that's the writing life. For Gabriel4Sam, who enables me with Obitine smut :)
> 
> Title from “I grieved so much” by Rainer Maria Rilke, Norton translation 1962
>
>> _I grieved so much. I saw you pale and fearing._   
>  _That was in dream. And your soul rang._
>> 
>> _All softly my soul sounded with it,_   
>  _And both souls sang themselves: I suffered._
>> 
>> _Then peace came deep in me. I lay_   
>  _in the silver heaven between dream and day._   
> 
> 
> expect updates every couple days, but i don't have a set schedule.

“Satine!” Ben gasped as he started awake in a cold sweat, auburn hair flopping over his forehead as he sat up. _Satine_. The name echoed in his mind, and with it, the rapidly fading image of a beautiful face framed by henna-red tresses. There had been blood on her crimson rouged lips, and the dream settled into a vague ache in the center of his chest. With a groan, Ben fumbled for the lamp, and turned it on, then smooshed his glasses onto his nose and peered groggily at the clock. Early. But not so early he could go back to sleep. With a groan, he rose, dashing barefoot across the cool floor to the bathroom. 

Ben washed his face and brushed his teeth quickly, then dressed in jogging clothes and put in his contacts, blinking the lenses into place. He paused on the trip through the flat to listen at his adopted daughter Ahsoka’s door. The soft murmur of her radio, but no other sound. Likely, she was still asleep. He drank a bit of water, then stretched out. His brother Anakin’s dog Artoo came to nose at his face, knowing it was almost time for their morning run. Ben ruffled the ears of their mutt before snapping on the lead and heading out the door. His breath misted in front of his face, and he swore softly, then began jogging.

Artoo wheezed happily, bounding at Ben’s side. Ben couldn’t help but smile a bit. The dog was of indeterminate breed, a mottled grey and white mongrel, but Ben loved him regardless. By the time they returned to the flat, Ahsoka was banging about in the kitchen, grumbling about school, her long blue and white crochet braids still caught up in her satin bonnet. Ben kissed the top of her head, then drank some more water and went to shower, comb his hair, and get properly dressed. 

“Hey, remember I have an event tonight,” Ben reminded as he hurriedly prepared breakfast for himself. “I’ll be back for a bit in the evening to change, but you’ll be mostly on your own.”

“This is the - ball?” Ahsoka tried to remember, her face scrunching up thoughtfully. Ben’s social calendar was fairly full, although as much as possible he tried to include Ahsoka. She wasn’t a fan of charity balls though, and Ben didn’t half blame her. He was often the youngest person there save her, and they had to be excruciatingly boring for an active teenager. It didn’t help that strangers tended to stare at the pigmentless patches of skin on her forehead and cheeks, and asked obtrusive questions about the condition.

“Yeah, the opera benefit,” Ben agreed, draining the last of his tea. 

“Can I have a couple friends over?” 

“I trust you to be responsible. Barriss and Riyo?” Ben asked, and Ahsoka nodded. They were her two best friends from school; she’d known Barriss her whole life it seemed, and they had been taking first gymnastics and then martial arts together since they were very young. As they matured, and Ahsoka developed vitiligo on her face, Barriss grew skin tags on her cheeks; their friendship solidified even further as they comisserated over their misbehaving skin. Riyo had just begun attending their school within the past few years and met Ahsoka at debate society. “Alright, I’ll leave some money so you can order food if you like,” he promised, and hugged her, then dashed to make it to the subway in time. 

By that evening, Ben had forgotten the strange dream entirely, his head full of the days work and other worldly concerns. He raced home from the office and showered again, then changed into his dinner jacket. Ahsoka’s friends had arrived by the time he emerged from his room, and they teased him and took a few pictures with their phones - _very handsome Mr. Kenobi_ Riyo had said, and he had thanked her very seriously, not entirely sure how to take a compliment from a teenage girl with candyfloss pink hair and electric blue lipstick. 

When the hired car pulled up, he was all polished up, cuff links in and bowtie tied. He smiled at his colleague Depa as he climbed into the car, and they talked of this and that from work as the car made its way through the evening traffic to the banquet hall. Arriving, Obi-Wan helped Depa from the car. She looked stunning as usual in a lustrous brown ombre silk saree with intricate embroidery and gold earrings and nose rings. They walked in together, pausing to greet a couple acquaintances. 

“Shall I get you something from the bar?” Ben offered once they’d found a place to stand among the tall cocktail tables. 

“Just water,” Depa said, and Ben nodded, then went off to procure them some refreshments. Standing in line at the drink table he glanced about, quietly impressed by the turnout. The small opera company had been struggling since their startup a few years before, but they had a good crowd here. Hopefully, that meant they had raised the funds they needed. Obi-Wan had enjoyed every production the Sundari Company put on, and was impressed by the consistently high quality work, given they were just starting out. Evidently he wasn’t the only one. 

“One sparkling water with lime and one chardonnay,” Ben requested of the barman, eyes drawn to the large mirror behind drinks table. A beautiful woman stood just at Obi-Wan’s elbow, as tall as himself with a crown of icy blonde hair dressed with white calla lilies. “Thank you,” he said, and paid, then turned and dipped his head politely. The corner of her mouth quirked into the vaguest hint of a smile, and then Ben was off, looking for Depa. “Ah, there you are,” he greeted when he’d made his way to her side once more, and Depa just gave him a look, at which Ben couldn’t help but laugh gently. “Anything interesting?” he asked, nodding at the little plate of hors d'oeuvres she’d procured. 

“They have almost passable samosas,” Depa said with a tone of slight surprise. “The vegetarian options have been pretty varied so far, I saw a few meat and seafood things too, the cheese is nice.” Ben chuckled at her appraisal, and sampled one of the aforementioned samosas. They were quite good, he thought, but he also wasn’t an expert on the subject. They talked idly for a while, and were joined by Ben’s friend - and former lover - Siri, along with her date, then their friends from the Alderaanian embassy, Bail Organa, and his wife Breha. 

The six of them all conversed together for some time, although Ben got pulled into conversation with Bail alone when the three women decided to make a visit to the lavatory together, and Siri’s date went to investigate the bar. Ben and Bail traded a bemused look, and Bail asked after Ben’s family. Ben happily shared Ahsoka and Anakin’s recent exploits, and their adventures the last time they’d been out to the country house. Ahsoka was campaigning for riding lessons, and while Ben wanted to oblige her, having fond memories of riding from his own childhood, he was having trouble finding a place close enough by that was taking new students. 

As the night went on, Ben caught glimpses of the beautiful blonde from across the room. The light seemed to cling to her, making it easy to imagine her an ivory and gold idol. The pale sheath dress wrapped around her slender form certainly helped, as did the spray of calla lilies arranged in her pale hair. Depa chuckled softly, and when Ben looked over, she was watching him with fond amusement. 

“Someone has really caught your eye tonight, haven’t they?” Depa asked, knowing the answer already. Ben pouted at her even as he flushed. “Who is it,” she pushed, leaning over in her seat a bit to check his eyeline. 

“I don’t know her name,” Ben admitted. “Tall blonde, she was just behind me in the drinks line. Ivory dress, callas in her hair.”

“Ah,” Depa said somewhat smugly. 

“Ah, what?” Ben asked, certain she knew more than she was saying. Depa’s smile widened. Definitely smug. She shook her head, settling back into her seat. Before Ben could press her further, his phone vibrated. “Bugger,” he mumbled, then surreptitiously pulled it out. Even as it did, it vibrated again, and again. 

“Alright?” Depa asked. 

“No, Ahsoka needs me,” Ben said, brow pulling down into a frown as he scrolled through the rapidfire messages. “The car will take you home as planned Depa, I’ll catch a cab. One of her friends had an allergic reaction to the takeout they ordered.”

“Go on,” Depa said understandingly. She had a teenager of her own, a few years younger than Ahsoka. 

“Thanks, sorry love,” Ben apologized, leaning over to press a kiss against her temple, and with that, he fled the room as quickly as he could without outright sprinting. It took far more time than he would have liked to make it across Coruscant to his flat, and he was sure that it felt like even longer. But the roads were thick with congestion even this time of night. By the time he arrived, Luminara Unduli, Barriss’ aunt, was sitting with Barriss and Ahsoka. Riyo had been taken to the hospital long before he reached them. 

“Dad,” Ahsoka choked out, and threw herself at Ben. He huffed out an exhalation as quietly as he could, hugging her close. The paler skin around her eyes and on her cheeks was flushed and splotchy, her eyes red-rimmed and swollen. Ben’s heart ached that he couldn’t have somehow prevented this hurt; Ahsoka was incredibly loyal to her friends, and felt every set back they suffered as if it were her own.

“You did just right darling,” Ben reassured, holding her tight. “You got Riyo the help she needed, and I’m sure she’ll be fine. We’ll go in the morning to see her okay? And you’ll be able to see for yourself that she’s alright.” Ahsoka nodded against his chest, and he just hugged her a little while longer. Luminara and Barriss too were sitting closer together than usual, and both of them looked vaguely green beneath their dark brown complexions. “Would you two like to stay the night? Anakin wouldn’t mind if you used his room.” 

“I-” Luminara started, then looked down at Barriss. “I think that would be a good idea,” she said quietly. “Barriss already had her things here, and I can figure something out.” Ben nodded, then gently extricated himself from Ahsoka’s arms. 

“I need to make myself something at the least, they hadn’t served supper yet. Have you eaten Luminara?” Ben asked. She shook her head silently. “Girls, did either of you manage to eat anything or did Riyo get sick before you had the chance?”

“I - I had a bite or two, but I - I didn’t really want anything after,” Ahsoka said. 

“That’s okay sweetheart. I was thinking something easy, just toast and eggs or something like that,” Ben offered, looking at the trio of shaken women. 

“I will help,” Luminara declared, straightening her spine and then her hijab. 

“Me too,” the girls said almost in chorus, and Ben nodded, quashing his smile. 

“Alright, let me change so I don’t ruin my dinner jacket, and then we’ll get started. Why don’t you go ahead and put on the kettle Ahsoka, and see if we have enough aprons,” Ben suggested, and Ahsoka wiped her eyes and nodded firmly. By the time Ben returned in soft corduroys, an old jumper, and having exchanged his contacts for his glasses, Ahsoka had not only put the kettle on, but made and served tea, and brought out the ingredients for eggs and beans and toast. As promised, they all helped, which was a bit of an adventure in itself. 

Luminara left fairly early in the morning to make an appointment, but Barriss stayed. She and Ahsoka spent the early hours drinking a great deal of tea and colouring cards to give to Riyo, and gathering the other girls things which had been left behind. Ben took them down to the hospital to see Riyo once visiting hours had begun, and the two girls were able to spend a little time with their friend. It was clear that seeing Riyo cheerful and awake was an enormous help for both of their psyches. 

“She was - she was practically blue,” Ahsoka said into the silence when they’d dropped Barriss off and returned to the flat. “I just - I’ve never been more scared in my life, not even when I first went into fostering,” she admitted. 

“You handled yourself so well ‘Soka,” Ben reassured. “You called emergency services, and you called me, and I couldn’t be prouder of you.” She cuddled against him at that, and Ben gently rubbed her back, leaning his cheek against her blue and white braids. “What do you want to do today?” 

“Fencing?” Ahsoka asked, and Ben smiled. When he’d adopted her, he had proposed having her learn fencing so they would have a shared hobby. She’d taken to it with vigour, and was president of her school’s fencing club. She had picked up other hobbies as well - Ahsoka and Anakin bonded over robotics - but fencing was her and Ben’s activity for just the two of them. 

“I’d like that,” Ben agreed. “I’ll call around and see if the club is open.” It likely was, but it was best to check. An hour or so later, they were dressed in their padded white suits, headgear on, and were chasing one another up and back on a salle. Although Ben had learned multiple fencing styles, Ahsoka had concentrated on sabre, so they always sparred against one another in that style. The computerized system recorded their touches, beeping and flashing when either of them scored a point. It had been a while since Ben’s last spar, and Ahsoka was in much better practice; as a result they had fairly even matches despite Ben’s greater experience. 

The exercise improved Ahsoka’s mood, and on their way home they picked up a few groceries for that night’s supper. The rest of the weekend passed more or less as usual. Ahsoka had her homework, and Ben had a new novel that his coworker Plo had recommended, and on Sunday they had a long telephone conversation with Ben’s grandfather, Jan, and a shorter one with Anakin, whose voice crackled and broke on the staticy satellite-routed call. Ben jogged in the mornings, and on Sunday afternoon they took Artoo to the park to let him run with the other dogs. All the same, Ahsoka was looking forward to school on Monday more than usual, wanting to see Riyo again, hoping her friend would be well enough to attend classes.


	2. between dream and day

“Satine,” Ben breathed, remembering a pale face - too pale - and so very beautiful. So very still. The dream faded into misty melancholy, and Ben drifted back to sleep. His alarm woke him some time later, and he rose with a tired yawn, feeling more drained than usual and hoping he hadn’t picked up a virus. He completed his morning routine as usual, and kissed Ahsoka on the forehead as he departed for work, and she to school. The day began with wading through emails and voice messages, coordinating with his colleagues to help as many people as they could. 

Amidala Refugee Relief Movement was a non-governmental organization that helped displaced peoples with food and shelter and other basic services via a network of offices the world over. Ben had worked for them for a few years - since mustering out of the Grand Army of the Republic at the rank of General. His brother Anakin, some years his junior, served in the GAR as well, and looked to be making a career out of it. 

Currently, Anakin’s battalion, the 501st, was deployed to Naboo, helping the indigenous Gungan people who had been forced from their native swamplands by rising waters. The RRM had an outpost there too, headed by Padmé Naberrie, the daughter of Ben’s boss Jobal. She was a lovely girl, and this was her first field posting, so he’d asked Anakin to keep an eye out for her if possible.

Throughout the week, Ben’s sleep was troubled. He didn’t remember the dreams, only the ache that lingered through the day, as if he’d lost something of immeasurable value. By Thursday, he was dragging and a bit more bitingly sarcastic than usual. Depa pulled him aside halfway through the afternoon, giving him an expectant look over her tablet. Ben groaned theatrically. 

“I’m just tired, haven’t been sleeping well,” Ben promised, knowing that it would go easier if he just ‘fessed up. 

“You look it,” Depa said with a slight, teasing smile, and he pouted at her briefly. Only a few years his senior, she was his best friend at work, and could be relied on to have a level head about everything except Rugby sevens, when she turned into a rabid Chalactan partisan. “Anything I can do to help?” Ben shook his head. 

“No, I think I’m going to see if Ahsoka wants to go out to Serenno this weekend, see if some country air will help me get some better sleep,” Ben said, and Depa smiled, then patted him on the shoulder. 

“Well get some rest,” Depa urged. “We need you healthy.” Ben ducked his head with a smile, and they soon parted to finish their work for the day. Ahsoka was very much in favour of going out to the country that weekend, and she didn’t have any other obligations. They caught the train out to Serenno on Friday evening, cramming themselves, Artoo, and their luggage in with all the others fleeing the city for the weekend. It was a few hours journey, and Ahsoka would spend most of it with her earphones in, tapping away at her phone. Ben didn’t mind, he had his own pad stocked with music and a few articles and novels he’d been meaning to read. 

“I’m going to grab a few things from the cafe car, do you need anything?” Ben asked Ahsoka about an hour into the journey. She cocked her head in consideration. 

“Nah, I brought some snacks,” Ahsoka decided, gesturing at her bag. Ben nodded, and went off in search of the galley. It didn’t take long to find the end of the queue. Ben narrowed his eyes slightly at the sleek blonde chignon in front of him as he took his place. He knew that hair. He also wasn’t going to start a conversation while waiting in the queue for train food. 

Slowly the queue moved along, and Ben found himself eyeing the sweep of her icy blonde coiffure, the torque of her slender neck. He was certain it was her, the beauty with the callas in her hair from the opera benefit. What were the chances, he wondered. Who was she, and where was she going? He found himself trying to see if she wore a ring, then trying to guess her profession from her clothes; a well tailored navy suit, and at her throat a silk scarf in bright aqua with a white calla lily design. Even with the low, sensible heel on her shoes, she was taller than Ben by quite a few centimetres, and he doubted it was all hair.

“Oh,” the lovely blonde gasped, and Ben gently braced her so she didn’t fall over as the train swayed rather alarmingly as they pulled out of a station. 

“Are you quite alright?” Ben asked, and the icy blonde nodded. 

“Yes, thank you, you can let go now,” she said, raising an eyebrow. 

“I’m terribly sorry,” Ben apologized, removing his hands from her waist. “Ben Kenobi, I noticed you at the gala for the Sundari Company, but didn’t have the chance to introduce myself.”

“Satine Kryze,” she introduced herself with a wry smile, and Ben laughed softly. Of course. The _founder_ of the Sundari Company. 

“Honoured to make your acquaintance,” Ben quipped, unable to keep from smiling at her. 

“I’m sure,” Satine said with a touch of hauteur, and Ben’s smile only widened. “So what is it you do Mr. Kenobi?”

“I’m with the Amidala Refugee Relief Movement,” Ben said with a negligent shrug. “Generally I do logistical work from Coruscant, although sometimes I’m sent out to do base operations at other locations.”

“Oh,” Satine breathed, eyes widening, and Ben realized he had surprised her. Had she assumed that he had simply seen her as a beautiful ornament then? He found himself a little disappointed by her surprise, although he couldn’t identify exactly why - it wasn’t as though he knew who she was when she caught his attention. She had seemed somewhat familiar when he saw her at the opera ball, but he hadn’t truly recognized her at the time.

“How did you decide to start an opera company?” Ben asked. He had read articles about her, and about her company, the standard boilerplate that was in the ‘about’ section on the company’s playbills. But he - he wanted very much an excuse to keep talking to her. She smiled slightly at the question though, and talked pleasantly for some time about the joy she’d always taken in music and dance, but how inaccessible many found opera, and how that disappointed her. How she wanted to change that perception, to make opera more accessible not only in price, but in production. By the time they paused their conversation, Ben had walked Satine back to her seat in the first class carriage.

“I should get back to my daughter,” Ben said. “It was a pleasure to meet you Miss Kryze.” She hesitated, then simply nodded, and he left, back towards his own seat. Beautiful and interesting - and utterly uninterested - Ben thought. He ruthlessly squashed the imaginings he had done before he knew her name. 

It wasn’t as if Ben was looking for romance after all, he was content with his life raising Ahsoka, and gratified by the work he did. A partner would be nice, but it wasn’t a necessity. After all, that was why he and Siri hadn’t worked out romantically; each of them was always going to put their work first, and despite that they’d dated for years, they both knew that wasn’t the basis for a happy marriage.

Settling back at Ahsoka’s side, Ben saw she was curled up happily with Artoo, watching something on her ‘pad. He couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her, a soft warmth blooming in his chest. Raising Anakin and then Ahsoka were the best things he could imagine doing with his life. 

Ben had resented Anakin when their parents first married, but he had soon come to love the gregarious boy, and when Ben’s dad Quinn and Anakin’s mom Shmi were killed a few years later, Ben had become Anakin’s guardian. Their grandfather could have taken on the responsibility of course, but the old man had been utterly wrecked by his son’s death, his daughter having died long before. In many ways, Ben had become his grandfather’s guardian and caretaker for a time as well.

The rest of the journey was unremarkable, and when they stepped from the train at the station nearest Serenno, the estate’s car was waiting for them. Ahsoka rolled her eyes at sight of the sleek Maybach limousine, and Ben chuckled softly. The chauffeur took their bags and fussed them into the passenger compartment, and Ben was happy to let him. While Ben knew how to drive, he didn’t find it enjoyable in the least, and was happy to let someone else take the wheel whenever possible. Anakin and Ahsoka were just the opposite, and loved both fast cars and clunkers they could overhaul.

After a scenic drive through the county and up the long approach lined with ancient and stately trees, the car delivered them to the porticoed front entrance of Serenno, the estate Ben would one day inherit. The central house had been built thousands of years before, but renovated every few generations in between. The facade was quite imposing, but for Ben, it was home. The butler swept them into the house, one of the other servants taking their luggage, and soon they were escorted into the dim library, where Ben’s grandfather the Earl napped by the fire, his sleek Dathomiri hounds Savage, Feral, Maul, and Ventress dozing at his feet. 

The butler coughed softly, and with a snort, Jan Kenobi, Earl of Dooku and Master of Serenno jerked awake, the dogs all alerting a moment later. Ben politely refrained from laughing at his grandfather; the distinguished old man would be offended by his amusement, and Ben had been much better trained than that. Ahsoka admirably stifled her own mirth, biting sharply at her lower lip. For all his stuffiness, she adored the old Earl, who was something of a relic of bygone days. 

“Good evening grandfather, I hope you weren’t waiting up for us?” Ben asked politely. He reached down to pat Ventress, who had come to nose at his legs. A sleek, pale grey beast, she was the friendliest of the Earl’s dogs, although that wasn’t saying much. 

“Nonsense my boy,” Jan grumbled, rising somewhat unsteadily to his feet and beckoning them closer. Ben hugged the old man lightly and brushed fond kisses against his whiskery cheeks. Jan grasped Ben’s biceps, and Ben could feel the faint tremour that plagued his grandfather. For nearly ninety, Jan was in excellent shape. But old age was starting to catch up with him; once dark hair was now solidly white, and deep wrinkles lined Jan’s thin face. Even so, Jan’s dark eyes still sparked with warmth and intelligence, and he could beat Ben at sabacc any day of the week.

“Cook will send something up soon, sit, sit, tell me about the city,” Jan urged, waving them towards the sofa as he went himself to the bar. He poured a Corellian brandy for Ben, and a seltzer with lime for Ahsoka. He allowed her wine with meals, and suspected she occasionally filched a cider or ale, but he pretended not to know about that. 

Ben and Ahsoka chattered on for a while, and before long, a footman brought up platters of bread and cold cuts and cheese and pickles. They helped themselves to the meal, trading of stories as they ate. Ben occasionally slipped Ventress a nibble, and she licked happily at his fingers while Jan pretended not to see. He likewise ignored Ahsoka spoiling Artoo.

Jan sat and listened to them contentedly, the faintest hint of a smile hidden in his beard. While he might not be terribly emotive, Jan adored his family. Even when he and Anakin were fighting like lothcats and anoobas, it was generally because Jan worried himself sick over his grandson, wanting a secure and happy future for the boy. He wanted the same for Ben of course, but at least Ben was no longer actively serving in the Grand Army of the Republic and getting shot at for a living.

As a former military man himself, Jan greatly respected the decision of his grandsons to serve in the GAR. That didn’t mean he didn’t worry about them though. Especially Anakin, who instead of completing officer training at the academy, enlisted and then earned a place among the commissioned officers. Field breveted officers weren’t terribly unusual, but Anakin was the rare officer from the ranks that had his rank confirmed once he returned. Knowing that his worry about Anakin would do nothing but make him grumpy, Jan focused on Ben and Ahsoka, and let himself revel in their company. 

The three of them stayed up late talking that night, Ahsoka coercing tales of Ben’s boyhood from Jan, and tales of Quinn and his wives, Tahl and Shmi. Ben sat and sipped at his brandy, relaxing to the sound of his grandfather’s deep voice. Some of his first memories were of that voice, quiet and resonant as it recited tales and legends. He smiled fondly, catching the old man’s eye. Jan winked in return, and told an atrocious joke that would have had Quinn groaning.

Come morning, they all slept in before congregating in the breakfast room, yawning over caff and tea. They picked idly at their meals and desultorily discussed plans for the day. Ahsoka was intent on riding, and Ben agreed to go with her. Jan declared he would be reading in the conservatory. The glass walled room had been Quinn’s brainchild, and overflowed with the results of his horticultural curiosity. It had become one of Jan’s favorite rooms in the house, where he could sit and feel his lost son’s presence all around him. It was also well heated and perfumed with fragrant blossoms, which was much appreciated now that the weather had turned cold. 

Ben and Ahsoka spent a few hours riding some of the more groomed trails through the estate, Ben calling advice as they rode. When they returned to the house, there were much appreciated hot baths waiting for them. Clean and warm once more, they found Jan in the conservatory and the three of them spent the afternoon in table games and teasing conversation while rain swept over the house. 

They returned to Coruscant fairly early in the evening, Ben not wanting to negatively impact Ahsoka’s school routine. The weekend out in the country helped Ben clear his head a bit as he had hoped. He still had strange dreams, but they didn’t seem to linger as much, or perhaps he’d simply become more accustomed to them. The time away from the city clearly helped Ahsoka too, the different rhythms of Serenno taking her mind off of Riyo and school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I exchanged the title of Count for that of Earl, simply because I am more used to the British system where there are Earls but no Counts. To my knowledge, the two titles are of approximately the same rank, just originate in different places.


	3. softly my soul sounded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note the rating please, this is the chapter where i start earning that 'e'

Paillettes glittered like diamonds on a corset. Red lips parted in a false smile. A sharp breath caught in a slender throat. Ben woke, confused and disoriented. 

Calla lilies framed an almost familiar face. Ben woke, a name on the tip of his tongue, only to be forgotten. 

A slender hand cradled in his. A sweet voice singing. Ben woke, tears crusted in the corners of his eyes. 

“Is a decent night’s sleep too much to ask?” Ben grumbled, and rose from his bed. Three weeks since his happenstance introduction to Satine Kryze, and her cold, imperious gaze crept unbidden into the front of his mind when he least expected. He was contemplating another trip out to the country with Ahsoka, hoping that another weekend of clear air would sweep the cobwebs from his mind. 

“Drink an extra glass of wine tonight or what have you, I’ve arranged a date for you for tomorrow night,” Depa said without preamble on Thursday, and he looked up from his work, blinking at her in confusion. 

“Depa,” Ben sighed when he’d parsed what she said, because she’d been trying to set him up for years now, ever since he and Siri had broken up for the last time. 

“You’re going,” Depa insisted. “If you’re worried about Ahsoka, she can come over and watch movies with me and Caleb.”

“Ugh, what type of date, where and when,” Ben sighed. Knowing Depa it would be nice enough, even if he really wasn’t looking for a romantic partner right now. Depa smiled smugly, then gave him all the details and promised to email everything to him later so he didn’t forget. He nodded, knowing when he was beat. The next night, he fussed with the collar of his white button-down and the cuffs of his tweed blazer, and found his way to the restaurant where Depa had made reservations. 

“Hello Ben,” a half familiar voice said with a tinge of what he thought was amusement, and he looked up from his phone, then sighed. Satine Kryze, looking like something out of a half remembered dream in a royal blue sheath dress that made her eyes glitter like sapphires, a brooch of mother-of-pearl and gold in the shape of a spray of callas on her chest. He really ought to have known when he agreed to Depa’s pestering that she would do something like this. 

“Hello Miss Kryze,” Ben returned, rising and pulling out the opposite chair. 

“Still Miss Kryze is it?” Satine asked with an arched brow. 

“Unless you specify otherwise, yes,” Ben said a little coolly, and Satine - Satine nearly smirked. 

“It’s Satine,” she purred, and Ben swallowed thickly, feeling a blush race up his neck to heat his cheeks and ears. 

“Satine it is then,” Ben agreed wearily, and sat, hoping resignedly to make it through the evening without embarrassing himself too badly. Ben had long prided himself on his eloquence and loquaciousness, but around Satine his tongue seemed cast of lead rather than covered in silver, and he couldn’t seem to stop blushing when her eyes met his. All the same, he couldn’t bring himself to bow out early, finding he enjoyed every moment she was willing to spend with him. 

“We’ll do this again,” Satine declared when they parted at the end of the evening, and Ben raised his eyebrows in delighted surprise. “I enjoyed our conversation,” she admitted, and Ben dipped his head.

“As did I,” Ben said softly. He captured her hand and raised it to his mouth, watching her carefully for any sign of discomfort as he gently kissed her knuckles. She flushed softly though, and didn’t pull away. “I had a lovely evening, and look forward to seeing you again. Miss Kryze.” At that she gasped and grinned with wild delight, and he couldn’t help but grin in return as he closed the door of her cab and sent it on its way. He was still grinning when he got back to his flat, and poured himself a finger of very fine brandy in self congratulatory pride. 

Satine texted him the next day, inviting him to a midweek dinner. Ben checked his schedule, checked with Ahsoka, and checked his schedule again before agreeing. He’d have to go directly from work, as he had on Friday, but he found himself looking forward to it regardless. On his way to meet Satine at the restaurant, Ben even managed to find a florist who had calla lilies with deep purple throats rather than the standard all white blossoms. The effort was very much worth it when Satine gave him a delighted smile as she accepted the flowers, then tucked one into the lapel of his sports jacket.

Ben did his best to be the consummate gentleman his grandfather insisted he be raised as, but every so often a snarky quip or biting remark found its way into their conversation that night. Ben blamed the fact that he felt increasingly comfortable with Satine - her soft, husky laughter at more than one of his witticisms certainly didn’t discourage him. 

The constraint of it being a weeknight meant they couldn’t linger too long over their meal. Ben found himself both pleased and distressed when their evening drew to a close. He pressed a kiss to her hand once more though, curious whether she would accept further intimacy, but wary of pushing too fast. It had been some time since he had anything like a relationship, and he felt as if he were stumbling through the steps of their courtship dance.

Thoughts of Satine crowded Ben’s mind the rest of the night. He sat drinking a brandy and remembering the faint scent of her perfume - floral, but with a touch of musk or perhaps spices. Her hands were smooth and long fingered, elegant, but strong too. Would she like Ahsoka, Ben wondered, before chastising himself. They’d only been on a few dinner dates. It was far too early to be considering what she would make of his family. With thoughts of her so prominent in his mind, it was perhaps no great surprise Ben dreamed of Satine that night.

“Satine,” he gasped, and awoke even as he spent in his pants. Ben groaned softly, covering his face with one hand and peeling away his pants with the other, wiping the cooling semen from his skin. He wasn’t a teenager, but Satine Kryze surely made him feel like one. Every time they spoke he felt tongue tied and awkward, and as evidenced by the dream from which he’d awaken, his libido had also kicked into high gear. He couldn’t help but treasure the effervescent feelings Satine woke in him though, warmth and giddiness sparking in Ben’s belly at the mere thought of her.

They talked throughout the week, and come Friday, Ben arrived at her flat in his dinner jacket. Satine had agreed to attend the Alderaanian Festival of Lights with him at the embassy. Ben had been attending the event for years now as a result of his friendship with Bail, and was quietly excited to have them meet. Bail and Breha, he knew, would make Satine feel welcome simply because they were wonderful, warm people. They would make extra effort, he knew too, since Satine would be arriving on his arm.

Ben’s breath caught in his chest as Satine opened the door. She wore a simple but elegant navy silk gown, flowing over her lean form, clinging to the curves of her breasts and hips and buttocks. Everything about her was sleek and glossy, her pale hair caught back in a sleek club at the nape of her slender neck with a silver clasp studded with opals. Ben looked up at her admiringly; even without her heels, she would have been taller than Ben, and he couldn’t help but feel it gave him the appropriate angle from which to devotedly worship her. 

“You look lovely,” Ben murmured, and Satine smirked slightly, well aware that she had utterly ensnared her partner. 

“You clean up well yourself,” Satine teased, skimming her fingers down the gleaming satin facing of his lapel before pinning on a calla boutonniere. Ben flushed beneath his well trimmed beard. 

“I shouldn’t want to embarrass you,” Ben said with a little smile, and offered her his arm. Satine accepted, and they were soon settled in the car, talking quietly as they made their way through the Coruscant traffic to the Alderaanian Embassy, Cantham House. Ben knew a few other guests at the gala, and did his best to make introductions and ensure that Satine was comfortable. She held her own effortlessly, a natural diplomat it seemed. Ben wasn’t in the least surprised, rather convinced despite their fairly short acquaintance that Satine could do anything to which she set her mind. 

Mingling and drinks lasted for a time, and was followed by a sumptuous feast of Alderaanian delicacies while Bail and Breha made remarks. A celebrated Alderaanian poet had come for the occasion, and read from her work for the entertainment as the meal progressed. When the servers cleared away the place settings, the orchestra began to play. Ben rose, and offered Satine his hand. She smiled and accepted, and he led her onto the dance floor. 

The first dance was a tango, which had unceasing popularity in Alderaan and was all but their national dance. Ben turned them into the flow of other dancers stepping onto the floor, and they swept off. Neither felt conversation necessary for time being, enjoying instead the intimacy of the dance. Ben’s hand rested firm and warm at the center of Satine’s bared back, guiding her effortlessly through the steps. Satine relaxed slowly into the embrace, and found herself wishing just a little that they were somewhere more intimate.

Ben spun Satine ably as the music changed into a faster paced rhythm, and she laughed with delight as she whirled back into his arms. Their closed position was closer than it had been as they swept across the floor, Satine’s bosom pressed against Ben’s chest. He let his hand settle a little bit lower than was strictly proper, on the upper curve of her bottom, and Satine nuzzled into his shoulder, her breath rushing warm and moist against his neck. 

“Darling,” Ben rasped, his cock thickening between them. It would be quite the feat to make it through the night without being too obvious about his desires. 

“Mmmmm,” Satine hummed, kneading Ben’s muscular shoulder with her fingers and palm. He was wonderfully firm without being bulky, and although intimacy had progressed slowly between them - they hadn't even kissed yet - Satine knew tonight would be the night. She could feel how worn thin was the thread of his control, and how ardent his desire. Moreover, her own need was becoming almost overwhelming, and she was confident by now that Ben wanted more than a purely physical relationship.

“Tonight,” Satine breathlessly informed Ben. “You’ll take me to bed tonight.”

“Yes,” Ben agreed huskily. He turned his head slightly, discreetly kissing her temple. “I’m yours my dear.” His hand ventured a bit further south, pressing her close against his body, showing her how very desired she was without breaking the rhythm of their glide across the dancefloor. Satine scraped her teeth along his bearded jaw, and as soon as the song ended, they were headed briskly for the cloak room. 

Satine leaned against Ben in the car, her hand creeping up the inside of his thigh, kneading his firm muscle, then cupping his arousal before caressing him through his trousers. Ben grit his teeth and tried not to press himself into her hand, instead texting Ahsoka that he wouldn't be back until morning. By the time they reached Satine’s building, Ben was nearly delirious with need. He let himself be led into her flat, barely managing to pay the driver on the way, much to the driver’s amusement. 

Ben went to his knees as soon as they were in the door, burying his head in the warm apex of Satine’s lean thighs. She made a soft sound of encouragement, and he rucked up her skirt, his mouth practically watering. Ben moaned as he lifted the soft fabric above her hips, exposing a set of fancy ivory silk and lace pants that left very little to the imagination.

“How much trouble will I be in if I ruin your knickers?” Ben asked huskily, looking up into her eyes. 

“How do you intend to ruin them?” Satine returned, combing her fingers restlessly through Ben’s gingery locks. He smirked up at her hungrily.

“I want to lick you through the lace until you're dripping, then pull that little scrap of silk off you with my teeth,” Ben husked. “I want to eat you until your legs give out, carry you to bed, and do it again.”

“Yes,” Satine gasped, pushing her hips forward to rub against Ben. He braced her gently but firmly against the door, her knees cocked wide, and did just as he promised. The flat of his tongue laved hot and wet over her thin knickers, and Satine knew he’d be able to taste the sweat and arousal that damped the scrap of fabric. It didn't take Ben long to have Satine sopping, mewling softly as she rubbed against Ben’s face. 

“Off,” Satine demanded, the lace too scratchy against her swollen, sensitized flesh. “Off, off, off,” she chanted, fumbling with the band at her hips. Ben’s teeth grazed over her mound, then down, dragging her knickers halfway to her knees. She managed to push them down further, then awkwardly hiked her skirts up a little more as she stepped free, trying not to tangle the sodden fabric in her heels. 

Ben groaned, and buried himself back between Satine’s legs before she quite had her balance. Thankfully Ben steadied her again before rubbing his nose up into her folds, his tongue flickering out eagerly. Satine moaned loudly as he licked her out, his bearded chin rubbing against her thighs and adding another layer of sensation. Ben nosed against Satine’s swollen clit, then sucked at the tender nub, teeth brushing gently at her flesh. Satine gasped and dug her fingers into his scalp as Ben’s tongue fluttered over her clit, then swept back to plunge into her vagina. She swore at that, and nearly lost her footing.

“Bed?” Ben asked solicitously, and Satine gasped her enthusiastic acceptance. Ben stood, erection visibly tenting his trousers now, and swept Satine into his arms. She wrapped her long legs around his waist, eagerly grinding against him and nipping at his ear, at the line of his jaw, at his neck. He shucked the shimmering navy gown off her as he laid her on the bed, then hurriedly divested himself of jacket and tie, waistcoat and braces and shirt and trousers.

“Yes,” Satine assured when Ben rested his hand on her splayed knee, his blue eyes dark with desire. He kissed her leg, then up her thigh until his face was once more pressed against her, his mouth working her swollen clit and sopping folds. She murmured and gasped encouragement, her slender fingers tangling in his hair, directing him where she most wanted his skilled mouth.

“More,” Satine husked after a while, “want you inside me, fingers, cock, anything, Ben, please,” she moaned. Ben surged up to kiss her, his deft fingers petting her downy blonde curls before sinking into her achingly empty vagina. Satine mewled in pleasure as two fingers plunged into her and almost immediately began to stroke at her silken walls. 

“Gods that feels good,” Ben growled, breaking their kiss to pant eagerly against Satine’s skin. “Want to make sure you come for me sweetheart, want to make you so wet before I push inside you.” Satine moaned her encouragement, clenching around those strong fingers as Ben found her g-spot and began to drive her utterly wild. She squealed as Ben stroked her to orgasm, his fingers rubbing ceaselessly at that tender juncture, his thumb strumming across her clit until she was thrashing and coming so hard she squirted, ejaculating helplessly under Ben’s hand.

“Ben, Ben, please,” Satine plead, her hair freeing itself to wreathe around her head on the pillow like a golden halo. 

“Soon, promise, soon,” Ben soothed, easing his fingers free and calming her a little with lighter petting and sweeps of his tongue. He pushed off his pants and fumbled in his trousers for a condom, wrapping up before climbing back into the bed. Leaning back down, he licked into Satine one more time before she pulled him up by his hair. Carefully he rubbed against her, spreading the lubricant from the condom and her natural slick before slowly pressing into her warm folds.

“Yes,” Satine breathed as the swollen head of Ben’s cock parted her open and then slowly filled her up. He was trembling, she registered vaguely, and then she was blissfully full, Ben’s thickness in her to the hilt, and grinding down against her. Ben chanted her name under his breath, his voice ragged with need. Satine moaned in pure pleasure, clenching around him, savouring the solid weight of his body pressing her into the mattress, the girth of his cock burning into her like a brand.

“Beautiful, so beautiful, my diamond,” Ben murmured, pressing kisses against Satine’s lipstick smeared mouth and sharp cheekbones, against her neck and breasts and shoulders. She was perfection, was everything he'd ever desired in a woman. He rocked himself into her, wanting to be even closer together, so close their hearts beat as one, their souls enmeshed. Satine trembled and clenched and came as his rocking rubbed her clit, and the pressure of her orgasm sent him tumbling over the edge, hips hitching as he spent himself.

“Satine, Duchess, ner kar’ta, ner runi,” Ben murmured, shifting so he lay on his back with Satine cradled against his chest. She murmured an inaudible reply, shuddering in his arms. Carefully he eased free, ensuring the condom stayed on until he had withdrawn. He peeled the rubber off and gently stroked his softening shaft, milking the last of his orgasm into the condom before rising and discarding it. 

Ben wiped them both clean with a warm damp cloth, then climbed back into the bed and gathered Satine once more in his arms. She nuzzled up under his jaw, and he held her close as they both dropped off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mando’a:  
> Ner kar’ta: my heart  
> Ner runi: my soul


	4. your soul rang

That night Ben’s dreams began golden, Satine as a younger woman and himself as a younger man, bickering until they kissed for the first time, then refighting that war of words every time they met. He dreamed a life for them, forced apart by war and circumstance and religion; a life where she died so damned young, where she died in his arms and he would carry the wound of her loss through years of hardship to his own self sacrificing end. 

Ben woke with a soft sadness fading from his dreams, the sound of quiet singing in his ears. The gentle half-hummed vocalizations of his lover mixed with the half remembered dream. Cool fingertips trailed idly over his chest, carding sparse hair and tracing pale scars. Ben worried distantly - this was the first time she was seeing him naked, seeing the marks his military service had left on his body. As Satine’s hand slid south, desire blotted out his worry that she would find his scars repulsive, the partial erection he woke with most mornings hardening to fullness. 

“Ner sarad,” Ben murmured, voice low and rough with sleep, not quite understanding he spoke a language other than Coruscanti Basic; a language he had never before heard, nevermind learned. 

“Hmmmm?” Satine queried, fingers rubbing slowly over Ben’s thickening cock. The night before she had only felt him, not seen him. A handful of shiny silvered scars pocked his lower abdomen, healed gunshot wounds, Satine thought with quiet dread. Other scars streaked over his chest and across his arms. While they roused Satine’s curiosity, they did not divert her from her objective. 

Ben’s erection rose thick and pink from its nest of auburn curls, uncut foreskin pushed back over the flushed glans. Satine gently played with the foreskin, massaging the spongy tip of Ben’s erection with her fingertips. He pushed eagerly into her grasp as she fingered the slit at the tip of his penis, then the tender frenulum, spreading the pearly fluid that dripped from him. 

Shifting, Satine swung a leg over Ben and settled on his legs, slowly fisting his cock with both hands. Ben whined deep in his throat, trying to press up into her too gentle grasp. Satine smiled in smug satisfaction, mapping the marks she had left on him the night before. Mouth shaped bruises were darkening on his neck, and her coral pink lipstick was smeared across his mouth and beard.

“Would you like to come?” Satine asked solicitously, slowly milking Ben’s cock. He moaned incoherently, eyes half lidded with pleasure. She cupped his testes in one hand, rolling them in her fingers. 

“Darling,” Ben gasped, rubbing his hands along her thighs. 

“Show me,” Satine commanded, and Ben came with a choked back cry, spurting on his trembling stomach as he fisted his hands in the sheets. Satine let out a soft purr of satisfaction and leaned in to lick up every drop of his seed, then kiss him deeply, sharing the taste of him between them. Ben kissed back readily, licking his come out of her swollen mouth.

“Satine, darling,” Ben breathed as they parted, and Satine grinned, then rose gracefully and swaggered across to her bathroom. 

“You’ll wash my back, won’t you Ben?” Satine asked, eyes wide with false innocence, and Ben staggered from the bed to follow her into the shower. For the most part they did actually wash up, but there were also some lingering touches, and quite a few kisses shared under the warm water. Satine dressed casually in heather grey leggings and a chunky oversized white sweater, and Ben pulled on his wrinkled trousers and undershirt, having not expected to spend the night away from home. 

Satine left Ben in charge of her caff machine and ducked out to run to the bakery. He made caff, and also surreptitiously poked around a bit. Her bookshelves were full of philosophy and poetry, and she displayed very few images - a landscape of white sand dunes, a glittering cityscape he recognized as Sundari. The massive windows at the back of the flat were crowded with greenery, spiny cacti and fat little succulents. Her design style aside from the plants was best described as minimalist, her furniture all sharp cornered and sheer sided, everything in shades of white and grey with a few accents of blue, chrome, and blond wood. Even her dog, a sleek windhound, was a pristine white.

Over the next weeks, Ben and Satine saw more and more of one another. They went to the botanical gardens and the philharmonic and on long walks in the park when the weather was nice enough. Satine mentioned her nephew who was back in Mandalore, attending university in Sundari, and her estranged sister who was a commando in the Mandalorian Guard. Ben brought Satine ice skating with him and Ahsoka, with hot chocolate afterwards (Ahsoka brought Barriss, and Ben hid a smile in his scarf when they took one another’s hands after Barriss fell, and never managed to let go again). 

Ahsoka took to asking to spend her weekend nights with either Barriss or Riyo, tacit permission for Ben to sleep over at Satine’s, or invite her home with himself. One morning Ben woke to find that there were pumps that had been in his closet for over a month, and that there was Mandalorian _shig_ nestled next to his tea in the cupboard, that he bought her favorite black beer without it being on the grocery list. The quiet amalgamating made him slightly giddy. They seemed to slip into the forgotten empty spaces in one another’s lives almost without notice, interlocking like puzzle pieces.

Not everything was easy of course. Both of them were career driven perfectionists. Neither of them particularly liked hashing out the past, although Ben knew he would have to talk to her about that sort of thing eventually as their relationship progressed. It wouldn’t do for them to make things official and her to find out only afterwards she’d become heiress to an Earldom. He strongly suspected she was aristocratic by birth herself, but she hadn’t brought the matter up, and so Ben let it lie. He also didn’t want to presume so early in the relationship that their sparkly new fondness for one another would burnish to a long lasting sheen.

Despite certain things Ben knew they needed to address for the relationship to last, he very quickly came to care very deeply for Satine. It helped too, that the more time they spent together, the warmer she became, her initial coolness fading as they continued to date and spend time together intimately. If there was one place where Ben could find no fault in their relationship, it was with the physical aspect. They didn’t have terribly deep discussions there either, but their explorations of one another were always rewarding, and both of them were perfectionists there too, cataloguing one another’s responses to certain touches and positions. 

Ben had always enjoyed both giving and receiving oral sex, and the way Satine let loose when he ate her out was particularly rewarding. While not given overmuch to pridefulness, Ben was rather smug about his ability to reduce his usually composed lover to a quivering and incoherent mess with just his mouth. Of course, he was rather certain that his weakness for Satine’s long, elegant hands was just as much a point of pride with her. She could drive him wild with her slender fingers, and knew it well. 

It was perhaps the ease of their physical intimacy that allayed Ben’s fears whenever they were together. He didn’t want to press too hard about her past, or about a potential future, when they clicked together so well in the now. She was his standing plus one when he had an event on his social calendar, and Satine brought him to her events as well. He brought her out to Serenno, and Jan quietly nodded his approval. They’d spoken of her before of course, and Ben was certain Jan had done his research - and likely called around to his old chums in the intelligence office just to be sure. Ben wanted to discover all of her naturally though, letting things come at their own pace.

Satine too noticed certain areas where their relationship was shallow. But she deeply disliked discussing her past, the wars that had ripped her country apart and destroyed her family and home. While she knew the hurts in Ben’s past were different, she was more than cognizant that he was walking wounded as well. That was, in truth, what scared her the most; they were both rather broken, and she wasn’t sure they could hold together enough to build a stable foundation for the long term. Despite her hesitancy though, Satine ensured she enjoyed every moment they had together while it lasted. She could easily come to love Ben, if she dared open her heart. 

Almost a half year after they’d first met, they dined out as usual on Friday night, then returned to Satine’s flat. After some heavy petting, Satine commanded Ben to kneel, curious as to whether Ben would obey. He'd seemed to enjoy using his mouth on her many a time before, and she wanted to see how far she could push. His eyes darkened, shadowing with desire, and he went almost instantly to the floor. He was breathing deeper, Satine noted, his nostrils flaring as he tried to retain his composure. 

Satine smirked and walked away, unzipping her dress down the back and letting it flow off her shoulders to crumple in a silken puddle. She heard Ben’s breath hitch as she was bared. Beneath the tailored violet dress she wore only a beige silk g-string and lace top nude thigh highs. 

“Do you like what you see darling?” Satine asked, as if the answer wasn't clear from Ben’s hungry, adoring gaze. She let her fingers tease over the curve of her breasts and down her belly. He followed her hand with his eyes, gnawing unconsciously at his lower lip, licking his mouth in anticipation. “You like licking my pussy, don't you?” Ben groaned as she teased him, her fingers stroking the soft curls between her legs as she walked back towards him, partially hidden by her minuscule undergarments.

Ben was flushed and breathless by the time Satine reached him, his cock straining against his fly. She had quite ably discerned his penchant for powerful women, and taken commanding advantage. Satine stepped out of her g-string and rubbed her thumb against Ben’s lower lip. Pupils blown wide by desire, Ben opened to her, licking her fingertips and tasting the faintest hint of her arousal. 

“Beautiful,” Satine murmured, shifting her hold to gently rub her thumb over Ben’s tongue. He looked up at her through his lashes, his soft lips closing around her thumb and sucking gently. “And so well behaved.” His flush deepened further at that, and he moaned around her thumb, leaning into her. Pulling the digit free with a soft pop, Satine rubbed her spit slicked thumb over Ben’s cheekbone. “Sofa,” she commanded, and soon had Ben naked, their chests pressed together as they kissed deeply. His mouth really was wonderful, Satine noted idly, then smoothed a condom down over him before impaling herself.

“Oh,” Ben gasped, visibly refraining from cursing as her wet warmth enveloped him.

“So wet for you my darling,” Satine purred, grinding against him. “Before long I’ll have my birth control sorted,” she murmured against his ear. “You’ll enjoy licking your come out of me, won't you?” His hands tightened on her hips as he bucked up under her, head thrown back in heedless desire. 

“As my lady commands,” Ben husked, nipping at her mouth. Satine tossed her head back and laughed delightedly, riding him hard until she came, gasping and crying his name. He followed her into ecstasy a moment later, mewling with pleasure as he spent. Satine curled over him in the aftermath, brushing their mouths together in breathy open kisses. Ben’s hands kneaded her buttocks slow and firm, caressing her and teasing at her pucker. Satine pulsed around him with soft moans of pleasure, shivering between the heat of his skin and the coolness of the room.

“How were you hurt?” Satine asked as they cuddled together in the afterglow, her fingers trailing along the scar that transversed his firm bicep. 

“I earned that as part of the strike team at Petranaki in Geonosis,” Ben said, pulling her closer as he quashed down his memories of those hateful heat soaked days, the fine red Geonosian silt clinging to his skin and his desert-camo uniform until he could no longer tell if the crimson on his hands was dirt or blood. Satine jerked back, eyes wide.

“You were in the military?” Satine hissed out, and it took him a moment to remember that she had not been born in the Republic, that her people were the proud remnants of the long ago Mandalorian Empire. Her people and the Republic had once warred for a thousand years. His own family’s ennoblement had been earned during the Mandalorian Crusades, his forefathers Knights of the Jedi Order, when the Jedi had military as well as religious mandate before the Ruusan Reformation.

“I retired from active service a few years ago, as a General, after I was released from the Zygerrian Empire’s camps in Kadavo,” Ben said, not ashamed of his service, nor of how it ended. Kadavo had been another nightmare mission, one that ended with him doing hard labour alongside the Shilian colonists he and his men had been sent to protect. 

“A General,” Satine said disdainfully, and stood from his lap, again full of the cool hauteur that months of intimacy had melted away. “I wasn't aware I was sleeping with a killer.” Ben rose as well, his heart breaking a bit as her warm affection rapidly transmuted to icy distance. They'd dated less than a year it was true, but he'd fallen for her hard and fast.

“I shan't expect to hear from you then,” Ben murmured, dressing quickly and going to the door. Satine didn't turn in his direction though, and so he quietly left. It was a fair walk back to the nearest tube station, and he didn't particularly feel like going home. Instead of heading back to his flat, he found his way instead to the regimental watering hole, 79’s. As he had half hoped, a few of the men he had served with were loitering there, playing billiards and sabacc and darts.

“General!” Ben was greeted in chorus, and he couldn't help but smile.

“Gentlemen,” Ben greeted in turn. He had long ago given up on having his compatriots call him by name, even though he was retired. They meant it respectfully, and rank had never stopped any of them from telling Ben he was full of shit. 

“What's your trouble Kenobi,” Ben’s good friend Quinlan Vos asked when Ben settled at his side at the bar. 

“A woman,” Ben admitted with a wry smile. Quin chuckled, and bought Ben a whisky. 

“To women,” Quinlan said fondly, raising his glass. 

“To women,” Ben sighed, clinking their glasses together and then sipping the drink. “You?” He asked, and Quin shrugged. 

“Unfortunately not woman trouble,” Quin sighed. “They're trying to get me to retire from active duty. Don't know what I'd do with myself on the outside though.”

“Go to Temple?” Ben suggested, and Quinlan guffawed. Like most Republic citizens they both followed the Jedi religion, but Quinlan had never been terribly pious. “Take up fishing,” Ben offered next, followed by a string of increasingly unlikely hobbies. Quin’s laughter deepened, and Ben’s mood lifted as his friend’s did.

“Fuck, why did we stop fucking?” Quin slurred as they stumbled together back to his flat after a few hours of drinking.

“I was promoted above you, and you got a girlfriend,” Ben reminded far more coherently.

“I’m single, you're single, you're retired,” Quin murmured, pressing a sloppy kiss to Ben’s cheek. 

“You're drunk,” Ben said firmly but fondly, and poured Quin onto the mattress. They did share the bed that night, but both of them were mostly clothed come morning, and Quinlan was miserably hungover. Ben stayed to make them some tea and toast, then found his way home. The flat was still and empty, Ahsoka having brought Barriss out to Serenno for the weekend in anticipation of Ben spending time with Satine.

Feeling a bit off from his night of drinking, Ben changed into his workout clothes and went for a punishing run. He spent the rest of the weekend feeling a bit morose and oblivious, and reading everything he could find about Satine Kryze on the holonet. She was clearly a divisive person among her own people; an aristocrat who used her own personal wealth for philanthropic purposes; a descendant of warriors who preached pacifism after the assassination of her parents and older brother. She was both heroine and scapegoat in her home district of Kalevala, and the Mandalorian press derided her popularity in Coruscant and distance from traditional Mandalorian culture and traditions. Ben - Ben just missed the warmth she’d shown him beneath her icy armour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mando’a  
> Ner sarad: my flower / blossom  
> shig: beverage - any infusion of whatever's available, but usually a mildly stimulant herb with a citrus flavor called behot  
> 


	5. both souls sang themselves: i suffered

A few weeks after his breakup with Satine, Ben had a long and serious conversation with Ahsoka. An opportunity had come up at work for him to be stationed temporarily in the Refugee Relief Movement’s Ryloth installation, where his experience - both military and as a relief organizer - was desperately needed. Ahsoka eventually agreed although she was clearly hesitant, and after some futile scolding about letting his broken heart carry too much weight, Jan was willing to move down to the city and take up her guardianship until Ben returned, so Ahsoka’s schooling wouldn’t be interrupted. 

The flight over via military transport was mostly uneventful, but it wasn't entirely unexpected when their vessel began to take heavy fire as they approached the landing zone outside Nabat; Ryloth was incredibly volatile. Ben lost time in the crash, blinking in and out of consciousness as he staggered from their landing craft. Vaguely he remembered one of the other landers going up in a ball of fire. The sharp bark of gunfire filled his ears, and he leaned heavily on the trooper that had helped him from the wreckage. 

“Sit rep?” Ben rasped when he could make a little more sense of the world. His head was pounding, a concussion was probable, and he'd definitely bruised himself thoroughly, possibly broken some of his ribs. 

“We're pinned down Sir,” reported one of the peacekeepers. “We'll have a perimeter soon, and be able to tell you more then.” 

Ben nodded, aware that he was pretty far down the pecking order at the moment. His escort were ARC troopers, the elite of the GAR, with orders to escort Ben to the embargoed city of Nabat to provide humanitarian relief, then on to the capital, Lessu and make contact with resistance leader Cham Syndulla.

“How're you doing General?” a trooper with medic patches on his gear asked a while later, when they'd fortified their position a bit better.

“I've had better days,” Ben said with a pained smile. “Glad I was wearing my flak jacket.” The medic nodded.

“I’m Poke, I’m going to look after you, okay?” the trooper asked, and Ben nodded, hissing softly at the pain that lanced through his head. Another landing craft roared overhead, lacing the air with screaming weaponsfire. A thunderous explosion heralded the demise of one of the anti-aircraft installations, and some of the troopers whooped in pleasure. Ben smiled wanly, and carefully helped Poke ease him out of his flak jacket and upper body clothing. No blood, so that at least was a good sign. 

“Pretty sure it’s just my ribs and the concussion,” Ben said as loudly as he could bear. Poke nodded, and strapped Ben’s torso to hold his ribs in place after palpating the tender area and agreeing with Ben’s self-diagnosis. Ben wouldn’t be able to move as fast or as much as he would like, but he’d had broken ribs before, and unfortunately knew the routine. The same was true for the concussion. Poke - and that had to be a nickname, but Ben wasn’t going to ask - injected Ben with a pain killer, and Ben just tried to stay as still and quiet as possible. On relief missions, Ben didn’t carry a weapon, and he knew the best way to help the troopers was obey orders and make himself as small of a target as possible. 

“Alright, that’s the best we’ll get under these conditions,” Poke said, and helped Ben back into his clothing and light weight armour. 

“Poke?” asked the ranking officer - a Commander, by his pips. 

“He’ll be alright Commander, a couple busted ribs but the fractures aren’t displaced, and a concussion,” Poke reported, confirming Ben’s guess. “As long as he’s careful he’ll be fine.”

“Alright. We should have cover to move soon, so make sure that you’ve salvaged what you can from the wreck, we’ll have to blow it behind us,” the Commander ordered, then turned to Ben. Almost familiar eyes widened, and the Commander crouched down. “Sir,” he greeted, clearly recognizing Ben as more than just their humanitarian ride along. “My name’s Cody Fett, my brother Rex walked out of Kadavo with you.” 

“I know I’m in good hands then Commander,” Ben said with a wry smile. “How is Rex?”

“Doing good, he’s deployed to Naboo, peacekeeping mission,” Cody said, and Ben’s smile broadened. 

“Your brother is serving with mine then,” Ben said bemusedly. “Commander Skywalker,” he elucidated, and Cody let out a soft snort. 

“Him and about a dozen of my cousins,” Cody said, and Ben stifled a laugh. He’d served with a few of the extended Fett clan himself, and knew they were scattered throughout the GAR. “Feel up to walking General?”

“Just Ben would be fine,” Ben assured, and reached out, letting Cody haul him to his feet. The Commander briskly set them underway, small groups of troopers peeling off to scout ahead and on their flanks. Ben grit his teeth and marched with the main group, head down and keeping up as much as he could. The pain in his side wasn’t the worst thing he’d ever felt, but it certainly wasn’t enjoyable either. 

By nightfall they’d made it to cover, and one of the ‘troopers, Wooley, helped Ben dig his ranger grave. The scouts had reported back that Nabat was only a few klicks further. Cody distributed the watches by squadron, and warned them they’d be up at o’dark hundred for a pre-dawn march the rest of the way to Nabat. 

Ben would remember the march as pain and arid heat, his side searing when he moved wrong, his eyes half-blinded by the brilliance of the equatorial sun when it rose. He kept up well with the troopers, all things considered, obeying orders and staying back away from any action. It would take some time for his ribs to truly heal, but he would do his best not to be a burden until they could be extracted. During the fight for Nabat itself, Ben remained in the rear, watched over by Poke and Wooley. 

The residents of Nabat greeted them happily, and Boil and Waxer had apparently befriended a local orphan girl, Numa. Ben set about what he had been sent to Ryloth to accomplish, speaking with the village leaders and elders, gauging the state and proximity of their resources. While not starving, the residents were clearly not well off, gaunt and lethargic from too many missed meals during the occupation. Thankfully with the guns of Nabat stilled or destroyed, a Republic vessel could land, and it flew escort to an aid ship carrying the bare necessities. 

Boil and Waxer bid goodbye to Numa, and promised to write. Ben had an idea that there might be an adoption request processed when they were discharged. Their vessels took Ben, Cody, and the rest of Ghost Company on to Lessu, where they met up with General Windu and his forces, and the resistance leader Cham Syndulla, who had helped Windu and the Republic troops take Lessu while Ben and his escort were still held up in Nabat. 

There was still some fighting in the city, but Syndulla was well liked by the populace, and would likely be elected to the new government when it formed. The ousted Orn Free Taa had been arrested, and would be escorted back to Coruscant to stand trial for perpetrating the corruption that had impoverished his people and led them into civil war. Ben discussed the resources that his organization would be able to send for some time, until they had an arrangement that all sides found appropriate. Three months after his gunship went down over Nabat, Ben boarded another military transport. The Lessu office and distribution center of the Amidala Refugee Relief Movement was fully staffed and supplied, and running well. Ben was headed home.

At the airport, his grandfather and daughter were waiting, and much to his surprise, Anakin was with them. Evidently his brother had managed to get leave to welcome Ben home. It was an unexpected surprise, and it filled Ben with warmth. They had come to love one another dearly, despite the animosity and hurt feelings that had once simmered between them. 

Anakin was the first to greet Ben, sweeping him up in a fierce but careful hug. Ben hugged back unashamedly, gently scratching at the soft fuzz at the nape of Anakin’s neck where his hair had grown a bit past regulation length. Ahsoka was next, wrapping her arms around Ben from behind and nuzzling against his back. She’d gained a bit more height, her face resting easily against Ben’s shoulder blades - soon, Ben guessed, she would overtop him. Jan embraced all three of them, long arms encircling the entire family. 

“Welcome home old man,” Anakin said fondly, his voice a bit choked with emotion.

“It’s good to be home,” Ben returned warmly. “I think I might sleep for a week.” Ahsoka barked out a wet laugh, and Ben happily let himself be ushered through to the car. They returned to the flat, and Ben was shortly hustled into bed. He didn’t fight too much, he was exhausted from his travels and the long trip abroad, and sank happily into his own bed.

Ben returned to work after a week’s layoff, although he was still moving more slowly than usual. His compatriots at the office were all patient and understanding with him, and he went often to Serenno with Ahsoka and Anakin while Anakin was still home on leave. They took long, slow perambulations around the grounds of the estate, and Ben rode with Ahsoka and took tea with his grandfather and listened to Anakin’s enraptured prattling on the subject of Padmé Naberrie. At night, he dreamed of cool blue eyes and the soft scent of lilies.

A few weeks after Ben’s return, Satine knocked at their door. When it swung open, Satine swallowed thickly, fighting down the urge to grimace - she had hoped to find Ben home alone. Ahsoka peered up at her through the cracked open door, blue eyes narrowed suspiciously. The pale, pigmentless skin around her eyes and on her cheeks was pinked, her darker upper cheeks flushed. 

Someone called from within the flat, and Ahsoka stepped back, silently granting Satine entry. Satine followed the teenager back to Ben’s bedroom, and found a tall young man dressed in vaguely military styled garb sitting at the bedside, a hastily silenced conversation hanging heavy in the room. Ben lay on his belly amid books and papers, glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose.

“Anakin, this is Satine. Satine, Anakin,” Ahsoka introduced in clipped tones, then breezed back out of the room. Satine could hear her clattering about in the kitchen, leaving Satine to shift nervously, not quite able to meet Anakin’s sharp gaze. 

“Anakin,” Ben murmured softly, and Anakin huffed, then showed himself out as well, closing the door firmly. “Sorry about them, they’re a bit protective at the moment,” he said, smiling wryly and pushing up his glasses, then shifting stiffly to sit with legs crossed in the center of the bed. Satine swallowed thickly, cataloguing the deep weariness on Ben’s face, the strain around his eyes. 

“I missed you,” Satine said, crossing the distance to Ben’s bed and taking his hand. He squeezed gently, but said nothing. “I've dreamed of you every night,” she admitted quietly, fingers tangling with Ben’s. 

“And I of you,” Ben replied. “It seemed every night I watched you leave me, tried to hold you as you ventured where I could not follow.” He took a deep breath, picking at the bedspread with his free hand a bit to avoid looking up at her. “I cannot change my past Satine. I am proud of my service to the Republic. I know the army isn't popular, that the Senate and Chancellery don't always send us into clear cut situations. 

“But the men and women I've fought with, served with, they are my family, my brothers and sisters. Disagree with the politics all you like, but please understand that unless you can accept that we are, have been, and will be a military family,” he paused, not wanting to give an ultimatum but not sure his heart could bear it if they reconciled and then parted again.

“Will be?” Satine asked hesitantly. 

“Ahsoka certainly plans to follow in my and Anakin’s footsteps into service with the GAR,” Ben said. “As that is her decision, we have presented her with all the information we could, and allowed her to determine her own path.” 

“Ah,” Satine said quietly, watching their linked hands. What could she say to that? While she did not know Ahsoka well, she respected the teenager’s clear-headedness, and it certainly wasn’t her place to impose her views on someone else’s family. While she abhorred violence, she could understand in the abstract that the GAR was generally called upon as a peacekeeping force, and was nothing like the terrorists who destroyed her family. “Is there any hope for us?” she asked quietly.

“Can you see me as anything but a killer?” Ben asked in return. “You must answer that yourself.” Satine nodded, and left the apartment before much longer. She wouldn’t return for some time.

That night, Ben dreamed a thousand lives, a thousand deaths. Her face changed. Her name changed. But the sharp brilliance of her mind, the staggering warmth of her soul; those were incontrovertible. Since time immemorial they had been Duchess and Knight, Actress and Writer, and when they were exceptionally lucky, Husband and Wife, souls that meshed and harmonized on every plane. Come morning, the dreams were shading into distant memories, and when Ben day dreamed or dozed, they woke behind his eyes in vivid colour. Somehow, remembering those past lives where their twined souls had met and their hearts matched made the distance between them seem even greater, an abyssal void that grew more and more impossible to reach across.


	6. peace came deep in me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i meant to post this yesterday and completely forgot, sorry about the delay!

Ben was again out riding with Ahsoka when Satine came out to Serenno after months of silence. The Earl greeted her frostily, and they sat in tense stillness for the better part of an hour before Ben and Ahsoka returned. The four of them drank an awkward cup of tea together in the parlour, before Ben suggested he show Satine the library, and she accepted as rapidly as possible without undue insult. She had been shown the library before of course, on previous visits, but all four of them knew it was a pretext so that she and Ben might speak privately. 

The library itself was just as Satine remembered it; light streamed in the north-facing windows, streaking across a beautiful Jedhan silk rug in shades of mulberry and vermillion. Over the fireplace hung a massive portrait of Ben’s late grandmother Jocasta as a younger woman. It was clear that Ben took after her a great deal; her hair, dressed up in an old-fashioned knot, was a brilliant shade of orange streaked with gold, her eyes a bright sparkling blue. Satine perched on one of the big leather chairs near the windows, fussing slightly with her skirt to avoid looking at Ben. 

Ben remained standing, pacing along the wall and running his fingers over the leather spines of the book collection. Distantly, he could hear birds singing, and closer by the slight creak of the furniture as Satine shifted in the chair. She sighed deeply. 

“I’m sorry,” Satine said without preamble. “I don’t - I dream of you every night,” she said, quieter now, hesitant. “I know - I did before, but not like this. I - I’ve never been a believer Ben, not in anything but my own chosen destiny. The Force, the Light - call it what you will, but that - that’s never been a factor in my decision making, although I’ve tried to live a good life, to be kind and honourable.”

“But something’s changed,” Ben said quietly when her voice trailed off. “The dreams - you see what I do, those other lives we lived together. Lives where we could be happy, or at least tried to be happy with one another.”

“Lives where you were my Knight in shining armour,” Satine somewhat wistfully agreed. “I - I’d never really thought about settling down until we started dating. That just - wasn’t part of what I wanted to do with my life. And now - now I can’t imagine my life without you in it.” She sighed, shifting again. “I didn’t realize how empty my success was without you to share in it. I - I’ve been talking to someone, and I - I do want to try again, if you can be patient with me.”

“You’re not the only one who’s been lonely,” Ben said huskily, crossing back to her and gently taking up her hands. Satine flushed softly as Ben kissed her fingers, his eyes soft and fond. “Let’s do better this time then,” he suggested. “I knew even before we parted that there were things I ought to be telling you. But I was so very happy with what we had that I didn’t want to disrupt things. I should have had more courage, more trust in you even if my mind didn’t yet recognize what my soul knew.” 

“My Knight-poet,” Satine murmured fondly, shifting one of her hands in Ben’s grasp to cup his cheek. He flushed, and leaned down, resting his forehead against hers. Satine shuddered briefly, breathing in for a few thundering beats of her racing heart, then tilted her head to bring their mouths together in a sweet and long overdue kiss.

“My soul,” Ben returned when they parted just enough to breathe, noses brushing gently together. Gently, he lifted her and slipped beneath her in the chair, cradling her slender form on his lap. Satine smiled fondly, and leaned in to kiss him again. “Shall I have a room prepared for you? Do you have any luggage?” he asked when they parted again, his fingers twining gently in the pale silk of her loose hair. 

“I didn’t bring anything,” Satine said, her flush deepening, “and I can’t stay. I just - I couldn’t bear my empty flat another moment, and then I was on the train and wondering if - if there was any hope.”

“Always,” Ben said firmly. “There is _always_ hope.” Satine couldn’t help but smile at that, and lean down to kiss him again. “You’ll at least stay to dinner?” he asked, and she nodded, unable to resist even though it would be terribly late by the time she returned to Coruscant after the meal. “Good,” Ben said with a smile. “I’ll let the staff know.” After a few more lingering kisses, Satine stood, allowing Ben to rise.

It didn’t take Ben long to run his errand. He found his grandfather first, to ensure that he had the old man’s blessings to offer Satine their hospitality. Jan just chuckled softly - the road to love, in his experience, was never smooth. He and Jocasta had fought like tookas and akk dogs at times, and his son Quinn’s first marriage had been rather tumultuous as well. It was no surprise then, that Ben had found himself a fiery woman. 

Task accomplished, Ben returned to the library, pausing at the kriin-wood bar near the door and pouring each of them a small drink. Ben paused again as he turned back to his erstwhile lover, just taking in the scene. Satine sat half reclining now in the big leather chair near the window, the late afternoon sun limning her in amber and gold. Ben crossed to her and set down the crystal tumblers of whisky at a nearby end table before kneeling at her feet. 

Satine watched with half lidded eyes, well aware how much her newly reconciled lover had enjoyed being on his knees for her. He lifted her foot and kissed her ankle through her stockings, their eyes locked as he gently lifted the hem of her loden green tweed skirt. He kissed the insides of her knees, then moaned softly as he saw that her stockings were thigh highs, the creamy skin of her upper legs bare. 

“My Knight,” Satine purred, carding her fingers through Ben’s hair as he trembled with need. 

“My Lady,” Ben returned almost reverently, nosing against the gusset of her knickers. Satine smirked, wondering if he would beg, if he would plead to taste her. She’d never had a lover so willing to go down on her, nor one so skilled at pleasuring her with his mouth. It had been months since they had enjoyed one another’s company, and she had had no one since. For all her projected indifference, she could already feel herself beginning to slick with arousal. It wouldn’t be long before Ben would be able to smell the need on her.

“Yes darling?” Satine asked innocently, and Ben moaned, rubbing his face into her thighs. 

“Please my darling, my diamond,” Ben murmured, pressing his mouth into the silk of her undergarments as he spoke. The soft fabric caressed her, dragging moist warmth from her center to smear over her folds. He mumbled inaudibly, pressing pleas and terms of endearment into her knickers. She dragged her fingers through his hair and urged him in the rest of the way. 

“You may pleasure me,” Satine allowed, as if she wasn’t already dripping for him. Ben moaned softly, mouth pressing up eagerly between her legs. He kept his hands at her hips, holding up her skirt as he ate her through her silk knickers, licking and sucking and tonguing. Satine stroked his hair and rubbed his shoulders, frustrated a little by the layers of his clothing and yet flattered by the urgency of his desire. It didn’t take them long to utterly ruin her panties, another casualty on the list of her decimated lingerie collection. 

“Take them off,” Satine directed weakly, a bit hazy with pleasure but still wanting more. Ben obliged, easing the silky material over her hips and down her long legs. “Now make me come again, I want you to still taste like me in the morning.” Ben moaned, his cheeks flushing with desire, and then leaned up to bury his face in her damp curls, licking gently at her. “Wrap my knickers around your cock and touch yourself while you eat me out,” she continued, voice going thick and hoarse with desire. 

“As my Lady commands,” Ben murmured, and while such an utterance from him would once have been cheeky, today he was fully obedient to her desires. 

“So wet darling,” Satine complimented, shifting in the plush chair to ride against Ben’s skilled mouth. “You serve me so well, General.” Ben’s breath hitched at the use of his old rank, his hand firming on his cock. He’d mainly been teasing himself as he pleasured her, wanting the taste of her ecstasy on his tongue before he allowed himself release. But her praise sent arousal washing through him, and he fucked harder into his fingers, mewling against her as he used the wet silk of her ruined knickers to caress his aching erection. 

Satine grinned as Ben pressed himself even tighter to her core, licking and sucking at her almost feverishly. She tugged gently at his hair, directing his attentions where she most wanted them until she sighed out another orgasm, grinding against his mouth. 

“Up,” Satine commanded, and guided Ben into her lap. “Come for me,” she urged next, and with a low moan, he added his seed to the mess in her silken undergarments. Satine surged up to kiss and bite at Ben’s neck as he threw back his head in ecstasy. 

“Satine,” Ben murmured, curling down over Satine, clinging to her shoulders and nuzzling into her hair. 

“My love,” Satine returned, leaning up so they could kiss again and again and again. “I won’t give you up again.”

“No, I couldn’t bear to be parted from you now,” Ben admitted. 

The lovers remained in the library until they were called for supper, kissing and cuddling. When the gong rang, they rose reluctantly, then blushed to realize Satine’s skirts were still rucked up around her waist, her panties ruined, and Ben’s flies open. Satine stuffed her knickers into Ben’s pocket, then more gently palmed his cock back into his trousers before arranging her skirt. They stopped off in the nearest bathroom before heading in to dine, straightening their hair and ensuring their faces weren’t too incriminating. 

Jan and Ahsoka were already seated when Ben and Satine went in, although Jan rose politely. Ben flushed slightly, not daring look at Satine for fear he’d blush even hotter. The sweet salt of her was still on his tongue, the wet scent of her in his nose. He helped her into a seat almost without looking, not looking at his grandfather either, certain the perspicacious old man would see what they’d been up to in Ben’s eyes. 

“I’m pleased you’ve reconciled,” Jan offered politely when they’d been served - a warm soup rich with cream and scented of leeks. Ben felt his own cheeks heat, and chanced a glance over at Satine, to find her just as flushed. 

“To stay away would have been more than I could bear,” Satine said, tilting her head up. Anyone else might have interpreted her carriage as imperious, as Ben once had. He knew her better now though; this was her way of protecting and defending herself, keeping people at a distance so they couldn’t do her harm. “Having Ben in my life made quite clear how alone I’d let myself become.” Jan made a quiet noise of understanding, and Ben couldn’t help but smile rather helplessly at Satine. He too had been lonely without her, although he hadn’t realized _how_ lonely until they so acrimoniously parted. 

Satine couldn’t stay long after dinner if she wanted to make her train, but she and Ben walked through the conservatory after they ate, Ben speaking a little about his father, and Quinn’s love of plants and animals. Satine listened eagerly - although she’d met Ahsoka and Ben’s grandfather, he spoke only rarely of his parents. It was clear their deaths still deeply grieved him.

They parted unhappily, but hopeful, and Satine telephoned late that night when she reached her flat, just to let Ben know she’d safely reached home. Despite their best intentions and the late hour, they talked for some time, and Satine drifted into dreams to the distant cadence of Ben’s voice. She woke come morning to the cold wet nose of her dog Zoey against her cheek and her phone completely out of charge. For the first time though, since she’d started dreaming of Ben, of their past lives, the bitter sadness was leavened with peace and quiet joy. 

The next weekend, when Ben and Ahsoka went to the station to go out to Serenno, Satine was already waiting for them. Artoo and Zoey sniffed at one another, and Satine and Ben greeted each other even more awkwardly. Ahsoka rolled her eyes and chivvied them onto the train. When they arrived, Jan was waiting up as usual, and although his greeting of Satine was still a bit chilly, she supposed she understood. Her knee-jerk rejection of Ben’s history with the military had not only hurt Ben, it had likely seemed an affront to Jan’s own meritorious service. 

The staff settled Satine in the same guest room they always had, outfitted in cream wallpaper with a lavender floral motif and violet upholstered furniture. The large windows overlooked the gardens, fragrant now with summer blooms. The following evening, she knew, there would be a dinner party, Jan’s local acquaintances coming to sup. She had the time until then to just be with Ben, to try and navigate a path to the future they wanted together. She smiled at that, and it widened further at the distinctive tap at her door. Turning from the window, Satine went to greet her lover. 

“Hello there,” Ben greeted, cheeks touched with the slightest flush as he peered at her through the hair that had fallen over his forehead. 

“Hello darling,” Satine returned, affection sparking in her chest and warming to a soft, enveloping fondness. 

“Would you like to take a turn before the meal? The gardens are particularly lovely this time of year,” Ben offered, and Satine flushed, and nodded. 

“I should like that,” Satine said, and accepted his hand. Ben tucked her hand into the crook of his arm, and lead her down into the gardens, watching her lovely face as the golden evening sunlight gilded her features. 

“I thank the Force every day that I found you - and Depa too,” Ben said fondly, and Satine let out a sharp, surprised laugh. 

“Bless Depa. I should send her a nice present,” Satine agreed. Carefully, they talked through what they wanted in this new start on their relationship - now that the desperate coming together of the week before was out of the way, they were both a bit hesitant, neither wanting to unknowingly cause the other harm. They would have to communicate better, they agreed immediately, and laughed a bit awkwardly. And the dreams - they would have to talk about the dreams.


	7. in the silver heaven

“Why do you think your name is Satine in so many lives?” Ben mused as they ambled through the rose garden, Satine’s arm tucked in his. She chuckled softly. They'd decided to broach the topic of their dreams - their shared past lives - and thankfully the worst - the lives where they never found one another or died without consummating their love - had already been discussed. It had been a month or so since their reconciliation, and while they were taking things slowly, they were communicating better. 

“It's not as if this is your first time being named Ben,” Satine teased, leaning into Ben a bit.

“No, I suppose it's not,” Ben admitted. “But you must admit you retain that name with startling frequency, and even when it is not specifically Satine, it's often something of similar meaning or feeling.” Satine nodded, then shrugged. 

“Perhaps I simply always have perspicacious parents,” Satine teased. Despite it having been meant as a friendly observation, Ben stiffened slightly at her side, a faint grimace passing quickly over his face. She remembered a moment later just how often Ben was orphaned, how rarely he was born to good people. Although she too had oft been orphaned, it was a hurt that seemed to trouble Ben much more deeply. “Oh Ben,” she sighed remorsefully, and he shook his head, turning to embrace her loosely. 

“I know you meant no harm,” Ben affirmed, but the mood had turned subdued, and they finished their walk in silence. While they were doing better, things weren’t perfect between them. Still, they _were_ doing better. They were talking over their wants and needs, working out compromises they could both live with. By the time they went inside, the tension had eased a bit, and they were talking about the programs Satine intended to present for the upcoming season of her opera company. 

When they went up late that night, Satine paused outside her room. Ben turned to her, eyebrows raised in silent question. Satine couldn’t help but smile, and pulled him in for a soft kiss. 

“Stay with me tonight,” Satine requested, her voice husky with desire. Although they’d coupled since their reconciliation, they hadn’t shared a bed, mostly due to Satine’s own uncertainty - they’d fallen together so well the first time when it came to their physicality, and that had disguised a lot of the shortcomings in the other aspects of their relationship. But she wanted Ben tonight, wanted more than their usual explosive lovemaking. She wanted it to be like it nearly had been before she’d buggered everything up, Ben soft and warm in her arms, sated not only physically but emotionally. 

“I’m yours,” Ben said, and Satine trembled at the deeper feeling carried there, the belonging they’d been so hesitant about accepting at first. He kissed her, soft and so very careful, his lips teasing lightly against hers until she was quivering. Satine fumbled the door open and stumbled into her room, dragging Ben with her. “Easy my love,” Ben husked, “we have all night.” Satine moaned softly at that, gently pushing Ben back a step so she could peel him out of his clothes. 

“No, with me,” Satine murmured when Ben began to go to his knees, and he looked at her measuringly. 

“I enjoy eating you out,” Ben reminded her, and Satine smiled. 

“I enjoy it too,” Satine affirmed. “But I want to hold all of you.” Ben nodded at that, and straightened up, kissing her softly before ushering her into the bed. They just kissed and carefully touched for what seemed like hours, until their lips were sore and swollen, their eyes glazed with latent need. Ben rubbed gently against her, and Satine moaned, looping her leg around his hips and grinding more insistently against him. “I’m still on birth control,” Satine suggested, and it took Ben a moment to understand her oblique request - to remember that day when she suggested he lick his come out of her pussy - and then he groaned deeply, his hands squeezing her buttocks. 

“That’s what you want?” Ben asked to make sure. “My come in you, and then my mouth?” 

“Yes,” Satine said, gently pushing at Ben’s shoulder until he rolled onto his back. Satine trailed her fingers over his chest, then leaned down, kissing the hollow of his throat, the valley of his sternum, the peak of his nipple. Soft breaths hitched in Ben’s chest as she mapped his skin, and then she reached down, cupping his thick erection and earning a low moan. Satine smiled at that, and shifted to sit astride Ben’s hips, grinding her wet folds along the hard ridge of his cock. 

Ben watched Satine avidly, watched her sharp blue eyes catalogue his reactions as he rolled his hips beneath hers. She was beyond beautiful like this, the faint moonlight limning her in silvery blue. He rubbed at her thighs and stroked up to the curve of her hips, then the dip of her waist, back down to knead her firm buttocks and tease her tightly furled pucker. 

Satine let out a soft sound of pleasure - almost a purr - when Ben’s hands swept up over her ribs and palmed her breasts. She shifted over him, teasing, pressing, so hot and wet against him, and it took all of Ben’s self-control not to roll them, not to push her to the bed and take what he wanted. Her happiness - her pleasure - that was worth so much more than his gratification. Even as he thought it, Satine shifted, taking him slowly into her body. Ben had to close his eyes against the pleasure of it, gasping and overwhelmed as she slowly sank down over him, engulfing him to the root. 

“Beautiful,” Ben rasped out as Satine shuddered to a stop against him. She purred again, eyes slit with pleasure as she ground herself on his cock. “So beautiful darling,” he murmured, his hands moving restlessly over her warm, silken skin. Satine smirked down at him, then began to slowly work herself up and down, pleasuring herself. Ben groaned, fingers sinking into the muscle of her thighs, and she reached down, playing with herself where they were joined, and Ben couldn’t help but push up into her slick heat.

It took them a moment to settle into a good rhythm, but then Satine was riding Ben hard, Ben eagerly fucking up into her. She clenched and moaned beautifully, nibbling at her lower lip as she came apart. Feeling her clench and slick over him pulled Ben over the edge into orgasm, and he grabbed her hips firmly, slamming up into her as he came, keening high in his throat. Satine shuddered and collapsed, layering soft kisses over Ben’s neck and shoulders. He cradled her close for a long moment, waves of pleasure continuing to wash over him. 

When they’d stopped shuddering, Ben carefully rolled them so Satine lay on her back. He knelt up, and she looked up at him sleepily. She was so very beautiful, Ben thought, and then he leaned in, kissing the inside of her knee. Satine purred and splayed her legs, reaching down to spread herself open with her fingers. She was gleaming with their mingled fluids, slick and wet. Ben leaned down and licked over her hand and her folds and her swollen clit, then set about tongue fucking her until she squealed in orgasm and pushed him away, too sensitive for more. 

“Beautiful,” Ben rasped, then kissed her once more, sharing the salty, bitter taste of their pleasure. Satine licked lazily into his mouth, carding her fingers gently through his hair. Slowly they came down from their high, nuzzling together sleepily, and fussing a bit until they settled into a comfortable position and slept. 

It was later than Satine usually woke when she finally stirred in the morning. Ben was in bed with her still, but cleaned up and dressed in fresh clothing, reading in the bright sunlight that touched him in copper and gold. Her heart clenched painfully; how could she have given this up? How could she have thought that military service lessened him when she had known from his every action that he was a man of honour and compassion? She let out a soft, rusty chuckle, and Ben looked down, eyes warming behind his glasses. 

“Nothing, just thinking how lucky I am,” Satine murmured, and knelt up, clambering into Ben’s lap and kissing him deeply. He kissed back readily, groaning as Satine rubbed against him. 

“Minx,” Ben growled, and tumbled her onto her back, kissing her deeply. Satine moaned, spreading her legs and rubbing against him, the fabric of his trousers rough against her sensitized flesh. 

“Take me,” Satine urged, not sure if it was a plea or a demand. Ben groaned, but reached between them, fumbling with his fly and pushing his clothing down just far enough to free his cock. He stroked himself roughly the rest of the way to hardness, then pushed in. Satine let out a tremulous moan, rubbing against him, pushing herself onto his length, whimpering as he ground against her. 

“Harder,” Satine said, and this time it was a demand, one of her hands clasped firm on the nape of Ben’s neck, the other pushing up the back of his shirt, scoring welts along his spine, then pushing under his waistband and grabbing his buttock, urging him closer. He simply grunted, hauling one of her legs over his shoulder to spread her wide and fucking her roughly, his face pressed into the side of her neck. Satine squealed appreciatively, and it didn’t take long for them both to reach orgasm, hips stuttering together as they came. 

“Fuck,” Ben breathed appreciatively, rolling off of Satine to lay alongside her, his hand finding hers and winding their fingers together without thought.

“Yeah,” Satine agreed, slightly dazed. Why hadn’t she given up control like that before? He clearly enjoyed going down on her yes, but that had been spectacular, the heat and fire in him urging her even higher and hotter as they coupled. “I should shower,” she murmured after a while, but made no move to rise. Ben chuckled softly. 

“I probably should too,” Ben agreed, and a slow, vulpine smile stretched Satine’s lips. 

“Together?” Satine suggested huskily, and Ben groaned, tossing his arm over his face. Satine laughed, then kissed his shoulder, then his neck. “Just washing up,” she said, but Ben could hear the tease in her voice. 

“Somehow I don’t believe you,” Ben murmured, but turned so they could kiss properly. “Let me go get a change of clothes,” he husked, and Satine smugly watched him slip from the room. She lay there for a few moments, enjoying the sweet ache of having been thoroughly fucked. She had no obligations, no plans but to enjoy Ben in every way possible before they returned to the city. Satine smiled, and padded through to the bathroom to shower quickly but thoroughly before running the tub full of hot water. Ben joined her before long, grinning when he saw her lounging in the filling tub. He shucked off his clothing and joined her, and they sat and bathed, kissing and touching without any intent to arouse, just learning one another’s bodies better. 

It was late by the time they went down to eat, and when they joined Jan in the library, he gave them a rather nonplussed look, although he said nothing. Satine and Ben both blushed, and didn’t stay long before deciding it was nice enough out to take a ride. They enjoyed the horses and the warm sunshine, talking about various childhood adventures. It was a bit easier to talk like this, not looking at one another’s faces. The comfort of the horses helped too, and by the time they returned to the manse for the mid-day meal, they were feeling bit more comfortable with each other. 

The weekend went well in all, and the next weekend, Ben and Satine spent alone in Coruscant, Ahsoka bringing Barriss out to Serenno with her. Slowly, Ben and Satine created a new normal for their relationship. It looked a lot like their old relationship from the outside, but they spent a lot more time in conversation, and after a few months of dating, started going separately and together to a relationship counselor to make sure they were giving themselves the best shot possible at making this work. They were meant to be together, they agreed on that. Other things though, sometimes needed a bit of mediation. 

They were at about the four month mark when Anakin returned to Coruscant, his tour of duty cut short by an injury that took his hand. Having planned to make his career in the military, Anakin was distraught, not sure if the GAR would keep him on after the injury. Ben immediately went into research mode - he’d served with a few soldiers who had amputated extremities and prosthetics, but nothing so major as above-elbow amputation. 

Anakin was on medical leave for the foreseeable future, and the flat was crowded with two grown men, a teenaged girl, a dog. Satine was a bit uncomfortable at first, visiting there with Anakin home. Did he know, she wondered - surely he knew that she disapproved of the military, that her and Ben’s painful separation had been due to her own beliefs. He was coolly polite at first, and Satine couldn’t help but snipe back at times. Ben would take her hand though, warm and gentle, and she would ease. Ben wanted her there, and she would earn Anakin and Ahsoka’s trust. 

Slowly, they thawed, helped along by afternoons running their dogs in the park, and weekends out in the country. Satine started coming over for family movie night, or having them all over for supper. Anakin grew more playful, teasing Ben and Ahsoka at the table. Part of it, Satine thought, was Ben’s continued assurance that Anakin’s military career wasn’t over, and Anakin’s growing facility with his prosthesis - the counselling sessions likely didn’t hurt either. The only one of them not in counselling was the dog. Part of it, Satine hoped, was Anakin’s acceptance of her relationship with Ben, his understanding that although their relationship wasn’t perfect - no relationship was - it still made them happier to be together than they ever could be apart. 

Anakin’s mood improved further when he was given a commendation for his service, and yet again when he and Ben ran into Padmé Naberrie at the opening of one of Satine’s shows. She was there as a guest of her father’s friend, Senator Palpatine, and given her blushes, Ben thought it was likely that she was as taken with Anakin as Anakin was with her. Ben watched them bemusedly, and laughingly told Satine and Ahsoka of Anakin’s stuttering attempts at flirtation when they returned home. Satine was hesitant to laugh along with Ben until Anakin did, but evidently it was an old joke among them - Anakin, though adorable, had never been exactly suave. 

Satine, paying Depa’s help forward, invited Padmé to a dinner party a few weeks later. Anakin flustered adorably, and Barriss, who had been invited by Ahsoka, tittered behind her hand. Ahsoka snorted into her drink, used to such interplay. Padmé was graceful though, and being just as smitten, happily engaged Anakin and smoothed over his sometimes awkward pauses. Depa herself, and her son Caleb were there, with Bail and Breha to round out the party. It was a good balance of people all told, and they all enjoyed themselves, talking about arts events happening in the city and sporting competitions, books they’d read recently and movies seen. Padmé, before she left, gave Anakin her number, ensuring his head would be in the clouds for the next month.

Seasons changed, winter to spring, and when summer came, Satine didn’t renew the lease on her efficient little flat. Somewhere in all the time she spent at Ben’s, her apartment had become too quiet, empty, even with Zoey there with her. Living with someone other than family was a bit of a novelty for both of them; Satine hadn’t had roommates since she was in college, and even during his military service Ben had often been accorded a single room due to his rank. But waking together in the morning was something they treasured, even when they argued about which groceries to buy and where, or how much space their respective wardrobes ought to take up in the closet.

Ben took the occasional trip out of town for work, but none of them ended up like his trip to Ryloth, much to the relief of his family. And then, as Ahsoka was preparing her university applications, civil war broke out in Mandalore. Satine knew she couldn’t charge home - knew she couldn’t do anything. She sat, staring for hours at the news as Sundari was bombed, as her people were killed in the streets. Ben could do nothing but sit with her, their hands clasped tightly together. 

Satine took to haunting the Mandalorian embassy near the Senate Dome, agitating for any scrap of news that might make its way out of Sundari, where her nephew had been attending university, or Kalevala, her family’s home province. The Mandalorian people had to decide their own destiny, the Chancellery repeated ad nauseum, and the Republic would not become embroiled in the matter. 

Sundari had been all but leveled when a late night call came in from the Mandalorian Embassy. Someone on Satine’s list had crossed the border. Ben and Satine dressed hurriedly in the dark, leaving a note on the counter before they called for a taxi and raced into the night. They weren’t the only ones rushing into the embassy when they arrived, the foyer a crush of shouting people. Finally though, a staff member pulled them aside, and when Satine gave her name they were ushered into another hall, this one packed with hollow cheeked refugees.

“Satine!” a clear voice called with sharp relief, and she turned. A blur of rich red hair, and a shorter woman was clinging to Satine, a gangly adolescent following a moment later. Satine’s breath hitched, and then she began to sob, clutching her sister and nephew to her. The shouts of joy and sobs of relief accompanying other reunions rang through the hall, and Ben gently shepherded the Kryze family to a quieter corner. While Satine spoke of them often, this certainly wasn’t how Ben had imagined meating Bo-Katan and Korkie. 

They ended up at Dex’s, an open-all-night diner Ben had frequented during his university years, the four of them crammed into a single booth sipping caff so strong it was unlikely they’d sleep before dawn. Bo-Katan looked a great deal like her sister, but with shorter, deep red hair a few shades more towards copper than Ben’s. She carried herself differently than Satine as well, having served for long years in the Mandalorian Guard. Korkie was a good mix of both sisters, with red-blond hair but Satine’s height. It was likely he’d grow even taller, as he was only eighteen, a scant year older than Ahsoka. 

With no place else to go, Ben offered them houseroom at the flat, despite that it would be more than crowded with five adults living there. Still, he wasn’t going to turn away Satine’s family. They stopped at a convenience shop on the way to get Bo-Katan and Korkie toiletries and other necessities, and despite their late night caff, found themselves all more than exhausted enough to sleep away the few remaining hours of darkness.


	8. between dream and day ii

Ahsoka, Barriss, and their friends took Korkie under their wing and showed him around Coruscant, and he soon determined to transfer to one of the universities there. Satine and Bo-Katan both supported the decision, glad to see him trying to regain a bit of normalcy. Bo-Katan took longer to get settled, and often came stumbling back to the flat in the early hours of morning, tipsy and irritable.

It was Anakin who helped the grieving young woman settle, at least a little. Despite that he didn’t enjoy drinking himself, Anakin would bring Bo-Katan to 79’s some nights, and she found drinking buddies if not friends among the soldiers of Mandalorian descent who frequented the regimental hang-out. She went home a time or two with Rex, who had served with both Ben and Anakin, and who they trusted implicitly, and it was Rex who helped her find a job with one of his many cousins, Kix, who had been a medical corpsman before leaving the service to work as a civilian paramedic. Bo-Katan had the necessary training, and Rex and Kix helped her get the certifications to reflect her skills, then a place in the ambulance fleet. 

Anakin himself, rather to Ben’s surprise, soon after found other lodgings. He and Padmé had been seriously dating for months, and with the place so crowded, she offered to have Anakin stay with her, at least on a trial basis. So Anakin and Artoo moved in with Padmé and her golden retriever, Piiyo, and Bo-Katan took over Anakin’s old room. Despite that due to their postings they hadn’t lived together for so long since Ben was in high school, it was very strange to him that he and Anakin were no longer sharing a residence. It wasn’t as if they never saw one another though. 

Still recovering from his injury, Anakin was placed on light duty out of the military offices there in Coruscant. He and Padmé and Ben and Satine would all meet up regularly, sometimes to walk their dogs together, or when Ahsoka had a fencing match or other event for school, or trading off hosting for movie night or game night. Korkie, Ahsoka and Barriss almost always joined them, and after a few months passed, it became normal, although Ben would sometimes still turn to tell Anakin something before remembering that his brother lived elsewhere. 

For the midwinter holidays, Padmé and the Kryzes were all invited to join Ben, Anakin, and Ahsoka at their country house. Bo-Katan would have to return to the city for a few shifts, but they all accepted. The old house at Serenno hadn’t been so full in years, and Ben knew it pleased his crotchety old grandfather to have so many people around. 

On New Years Eve, Barriss came up to spend the night with Ahsoka, and their friend Riyo joined them as Korkie’s blushing plus one. Bo-Katan’s escort for the evening was an artist friend named Sabine, who kept her hair sharply bobbed, and currently had it dyed three shades of violet. It was a good night all around though, and as the guests filtered up to bed, Ben and Satine walked quietly through the conservatory. There, Ben knelt, and, with his heart in his soft blue eyes, asked Satine to become his wife, to stay with him always. With a broad smile of delight, Satine accepted, then sank down to kiss him eagerly. 

Ben rose, sweeping Satine up in his arms. She laughed delightedly, and didn’t protest when he carried her off. Ben set her down at the foot of the stairs, and they walked up hand in hand. Satine had wondered why this visit they had finally been afforded a shared bedroom - or rather that Jan had had the servants place her in Ben’s room. She supposed she now had a strong hint at the answer; Jan had known Ben intended to propose, and suspected she would agree. After the work they’d put into their relationship since reconciling, Satine supposed it wasn’t a difficult conclusion to reach. They wanted to be together, and were actively pursuing that outcome. 

Once in their room, they set about stripping one another, kissing and touching each other’s skin as it was bared. They were both effervescent with champagne and the joy of speaking their intentions, and Ben soon tumbled Satine into the bed and began kissing his way down her body. Satine made encouraging noises and stroked Ben’s head and shoulders, mewling as he licked his way into her center. 

“Yes,” Satine urged when Ben paused and looked up at her, his hair falling over his eyes. He smiled roguishly in response, and still holding her gaze, stretched out his tongue to flutter it over her clit. Satine broke with a groan, tossing back her head and pushing her hips against his mouth. Ben ate her out eagerly, driving her to the edge again and again, until her throat was hoarse and she was aching to be filled. “Ben,” Satine begged, tugging a bit ungently at his hair. 

“Yes love?” Ben murmured, his breath sweeping warmly over her swollen clit. 

“Fuck me you unbearable man,” Satine commanded, and then Ben was over her, grinning broadly as he ground his erection up into her folds, slicking himself with her juices. Satine’s breath hitched as his cock rubbed against her sensitive clit, and then she moaned as he slowly pushed up into her. 

“Okay?” Ben asked, pausing to ensure her vocalization was pleasure, not pain. Satine nodded hurriedly, wrapping her legs around Ben’s waist and urging him to sink the rest of the way into her. Ben grinned at her insistence, but did as she wished. “What do you want darling?” Ben asked, “what is your desire?”

“Fuck me,” Satine requested huskily, and Ben’s grin widened. 

“As you command,” Ben murmured. He muscled her legs up so they draped over his shoulders, then began to drive into her. Satine moaned, tossing her head eagerly at the sensation. She fisted her hands in the sheets, twisting the linens tight as Ben took control. As requested though, he fucked her deep and hard, dragging his cock over her g-spot until she was trembling, until she was panting, until she came, squirting and clenching. Ben groaned, thrusting into Satine as she orgasmed. He’d barely been able to retain his control over himself as she slicked and squeezed around him. With a muffled cry, Ben followed Satine over the edge, crumpling down over her as he reached ecstasy.

“Love you,” Satine panted when she could think clearly again. 

“Hmm,” Ben mumbled, nuzzling against her cheek and ear. “Love you too darling.” 

Satine hummed happily at the affirmation, shifting until they were tangled comfortably together. They were a bit messy and sticky still when they woke, but that was solved by a shower together, part of which Satine spent inspecting the ring Ben had slid onto her finger. It was clearly a family piece, a big dark blue stone at the center, sapphire Satine thought, ringed with paler blue stones, maybe topazes, all set in a beautiful gold ring. 

“Grandfather bought it for Grandmother,” Ben said, noticing Satine’s attention to the jewel. “I had the band resized, does it fit properly?”

“Yes, it’s lovely,” Satine said, kissing him fondly on the cheek. “I’m honoured to be included thus in the family.” Ben flushed a little at that. They’d finally discussed Ben’s duties as his grandfather’s heir, and the responsibilities he would assume when he succeeded to the Earldom. They both though, hoped that day would be a long time in coming. 

They dressed casually for the day and ambled down. Ahsoka was the first to see the ring on Satine’s slender finger, although her excited shriek soon alerted the others. Ben sat back a bit smugly as he and Satine were congratulated, although he turned the occasional adoring look on his fiancee. Satine couldn’t stop smiling herself; while they’d talked about the future they wanted together, and that had included marriage, children, and similar topics, she hadn’t anticipated that Ben would propose so soon. Still, it didn’t feel _too_ soon, not in the least, and while they hadn’t discussed timing yet, Satine suddenly couldn’t wait to be married. 

By the end of the following week, Ben and Satine had already agreed to most of the big details. They would marry in high summer at Serenno, in the rose garden that had been tended by generations of the Kenobi family. They would each have two attendants, Ben intending to ask Anakin and his best friend Garen, while Satine would ask Bo-Katan and Depa, who she had become much closer to since she and Ben began dating again. They debated about including Ahsoka and Korkie in the ceremony, but both teenagers grimaced and waffled about how _honoured_ they’d be before Ben and Satine traded a bemused look and told them to not worry about it. 

Given neither of them had large families, or anyone coming in from far away, planning the wedding didn’t take terribly long. Once they’d made the decision, neither Ben nor Satine felt any urge to hold off on finalizing things. They loved another, they were working to ensure that love lasted. Becoming a family legally would just set that in stone. Given the personalities of those involved, no one was surprised when Ben and Satine had a beautiful wedding planned in short order.

The day itself dawned bright and clear. Ben had been awake for hours already, unable to rest without Satine by his side. He’d grown accustomed to dozing off with her head tucked against his shoulder, waking to find her in his arms. They’d slept apart for traditions sake the night previous, and Ben found himself loathing tradition. As the sun finally eased the rest of the way over the horizon, he rose from where he’d been curled in a window seat and put on his exercise gear. Anakin, Ahsoka, and Artoo were waiting for him in the vestibule, and Ben smiled grimly at them, then set out at a gruelling pace. Ahsoka groaned, but they kept up admirably.

When they returned, it was straight into preparations. Each of them went off to shower and dress, and in Ben’s case, have a few nips of brandy with his grandfather. The old man, like Ben, wore his GAR summer dress uniform of brown trousers, knee boots polished to a shine, white cotton shirt and cream linen jacket. They had both retired as Generals, and had the ribbons and cords to mark that achievement. Anakin too would be in uniform, as would many of the other guests Ben had invited. 

At mid-morning, the guests were all in their seats, and Yoda, the ancient Jedi who had overseen the religious education of both brothers since they were young boys, stood at the temporary altar in his brown cassock and cowl. A small group of instrumentalists began to play, and Ben and his attendants walked up the aisle. Along with his summer dress uniform, Ben wore a gleaming saber belted at his waist. Anakin, Ben’s brother, stood next to Ben in his own linen and brown uniform, and Ben’s best friend Garen rounded out the trio of men in a linen suit. 

The music changed, and Satine’s sister Bo-Katan preceded her up the aisle in a linen suit almost the same colour as Ben’s uniform, with a crimson calla as her boutonniere to match those in Satine’s bouquet and dressing her hair. Instead of a button down shirt, Bo-Katan had decided on a rose coloured silk blouse. Satine’s second attendant, Depa, wore a bright pink saree and carried blush pink callas.

When it was her turn, Satine paused at the end of the aisle, lifting her head. She had set aside her usual slightly somber blues and greens and violets for the day, and her champagne silk dress was ornamented with lace in the same shade and touches of rose and ruby as accents. Her hair was caught back in a twist and dressed with crimson callas rather than the common white variety, a short cream netting pinned to the headdress acting as a veil. Ben was certain he’d never seen her look more beautiful, but that thought occurred to him every morning. 

Blue eyes caught, sparkling like cool water, and Satine smiled broadly at her beloved. He looked struck, and Satine couldn’t help the rush of smug affection that swelled in her breast. From the start Ben had looked at her as if she’d hung the moon and arranged the stars, and it pleased her very much, the idea that he would look at her thus the rest of their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand done! thank you all for reading, i hope you've enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on tumblr as wrennette as well :)


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